From the War Room

Many of you have been diligently praying for me as I continue to wage war on this nasty beast called cancer. Through your prayers, encouragement, and the will of the Lord, I have won many battles. Unfortunately, prayer warriors, the enemy has seemingly reared its ugly head again, so into battle we go!

On Tuesday afternoon, I went for my follow-up oncology visit. Although I’ve been feeling great, my CA-125 number rose from 38 to 60!!! And considering under 35 is normal range, this was quite disturbing. Therefore, my doctor would like me to have a CaT-scan to see what’s going on in my body. Depending on what they see or don’t see, will determine the course of action. My scan is scheduled for the morning of December 28.

As I left the doctor’s office in tears, I asked God “Why?” In the days since, I have come to a certain peace from God. I feel that God is calling me to a task that I feel totally unprepared to complete. I’m not ready to share where God is leading me, but I know He will be with me every single step of the way.

I know I’ve asked you to pray many times, but again, I’m asking you to pray. I’m not telling you what to pray for because that’s between you & God. What I will tell you is that you & your prayers, your encouragement, your smiles, your hugs, and your love are always welcome and always appreciated.

I solidly remain a Philippians 4:13 girl.

Only By His Strength,

Sandy

Three

I can't believe it's been 3 years (yesterday - November 20, 2013) since I was taken to the emergency room and then rolled into surgery to repair a hernia. 

In reading through the memories on Facebook, I realize again and again, how many people were praying for me while I was in the hospital. I continue to be amazed how God has used this experience for His glory. 

I'm humbled to know that many of you continue to pray for me. I am truly blessed.

In this season of thanksgiving, I would like again to express my sincerest gratitude for blessing me with your prayers, good thoughts, cards, and hugs.

Just a quick recap of how I'm doing:

I (hopefully & prayerfully) broke up with Mr. Chemo on May 3. I rang the bell and said bye-bye Mr. Chemo. 

I had a good follow-up appointment at the end of August. 

Prayer Requests:

My next follow-up appointment is Tuesday, December 6 with blood work prior to that. Pray for a CA-125 number of 35 or below.


Happy Thanksgiving!!! Count your blessings!!!!!!!!!



Only by His Strength,
Sandy

PS - Look for an update/reflections of 2016 towards the end of December.

Roller Coaster Ride

You wait in line. You hear the screams of the other riders. You finally sit down in the car and get strapped in. You say a prayer and hold on for dear life. The car slowly inches up the first hill. Your heart starts pumping. You pause at the precipice. And then ... throw your hands in the air and SCREAM as the coaster takes you down massive hills, around turns, and up more hills only to fly down another until the ride is over and you swear that you'll never, ever do it again.

Well friends, that's how my life has felt since the middle of March. Ups and downs and lots of wild curves.

To "briefly" get you up-to-date with all the medical stuff, here goes:

March 16 - CT scan & doctor's appointment. After drinking the yucky contrast, the CaT scan went as scheduled. I had a few hours to burn before my doctor's appointment, so I grabbed some lunch at Panera & wandered through some shops. I arrived back at the office in plenty of time for my appointment. I was even taken back to the exam room almost on time!!! However, I then sat in the lonely exam room for almost 2 HOURS!!!!!!!! Finally, the doctor came in and advised that my scan looked good & the liver cyst was smaller!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!

March 18 - Regular primary care doctor's appointment. All good!!!

March 21 - Blood work.

March 22 - 4th Date with Mr. Chemo

Fun socks for Date #4

April 11 - Blood work.

April 12 - Doctor's appointment & 5th date with Mr. Chemo. My numbers were good and my CA-125 was down ... again. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

May 2 - Blood work.

May 3 - Doctor's appointment & 6th and final date with Mr. Chemo. At least I'm hoping. Doctor said numbers looked good, but really wanted me to have another date (or two) with Mr. Chemo. I told the doc that I had a life and I had made plans and the earliest that I could possibly have another date was the beginning of June. He wasn't happy, but ordered another CaT scan and he would see me in 3 weeks.

Ringing out

Ring this bell
Three times well
Its toll to clearly say,

My treatment's done
This course is run
And I am on my way!

— Irve Le Moyne 


May 18 - CaT scan. Always a great time drinking the yucky contrast. Not!

May 23 - Blood work.

May 24 - Follow-up doctor appointment. With a mighty army of prayer warriors surrounding me and the results of the scan, I waited for the doc. He came in and did his normal exam and then told me the results were good and I didn't need to see him for 3 months. I think he was a little shocked, but I told him, "That's the power of prayer!!!

Next doctor appointment - August 23

Now for the non-medical stuff:

I don't even know how to begin, but while waiting for my 2nd chemo on February 9, there was a couple of women chatting and laughing. I then heard someone call my name. There in a wheelchair sat my former co-worker, Corinne. I hadn't seen her in over 2 years. She was there for her treatments, too. Say what??? Not her, too. Corinne was vibrant and funny. She kept us laughing many days, but she was a good worker and helped me many times. She loved her family fiercely.

She was called in to start her treatment before me. I promised I would come visit once settled. I visited with her & her Aunt for close to half an hour or more. We caught up with where we were in our lives. We laughed and remembered all the funny & crazy things that happened in the office. Here we are before, I went back to my chair.

When we said goodbye that day, I never in my wildest imagination thought that I get a text from her husband a month later that said the doctor had given her one week to a month. I received the news from another friend and former co-worker that she passed away on March 20.

I don't mean to be morbid or scary, but we never know when our last day will be. I'm so sad and ashamed that I didn't take the time to find out if she had ever professed faith in Jesus Christ. 

With the events of the past week - the murder of Christina Grimmie after her concert, the murder of 49 people in a nightclub, and the horrific death of a toddler on the beach at Disney, we must realize that no one knows the day or time that God Almighty has ordained to be our last. 

When tragedies happen, we all tend to point fingers. We point fingers at politicians. We point fingers or shake our fists at God. We question, how could this happen? We question, why did this happen? We want answers, Marty Berglund, my pastor gave this answer on his Facebook page:

In the second story of the Bible, we are informed that we should expect such things to happen because sin has entered the world. You see, after Adam and Eve picked from the tree God told them not to pick from, humankind fell under the domination of sin. God warned them not to, but they were enticed and choose a life apart from God’s good design. So, after they made such a decision, God tells them of the terrible consequences for generations to come, but also tells them there is a ray of hope in that God Himself would seek to redeem humankind from sin and its ultimate consequences of complete separation from God for eternity. 

Then in the third story in the Bible, God tells us of Cain and Abel, the two sons of Adam and Eve. We learn that Cain, the nasty, domineering brother, overtakes his nicer, more accommodating brother Abel and kills him. Yep. That’s right. The third story in the Bible is about the bad guy winning. The unrighteous person killing the more righteous person. What’s the point? Why is this story in the Bible? I think it is clearly there to tell us what life in a sinful world will be like for generations to come. And, it magnifies for us the needed plan of redemption that God goes on to lay out in the entire Bible. Redemption is what the whole rest of the Bible is about - how a loving God seeks to redeem a lost, sinful, destructive world to Himself; how He longs to spend eternity with us. But now the only hope of being with him is this: the good news that God sent Jesus Christ to earth to die on the cross for our sins so that through Him, we could have eternal life. 

Come to Jesus. It’s your only hope. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16.

I'm going to leave you to dwell on where you stand with God & whether your future is with Him or not. I'm also going to leave you with Christina Grimmie singing "In Christ Alone." She was unashamed of her faith and her relationship with her Savior & Lord and she is singing for Him today and for all eternity. #ripchristina

Prayer Warriors:

Please pray for renewed strength and the time and energy to get to the gym. I really need to increase my stamina and hopefully lose a couple of pounds in the process.

Pray for my fellow cancer conquerors - Kathy B., Rhonda B., Ray B., Milt W., Ed S.

Pray for my doctor's appointment on August 23. That my CA-125 number would either remain the same or that it would be lower.

As always, thank you all for your continued prayers & encouragement. I cannot do this journey alone.

Only by His Strength,
Sandy

On A Wing ..... and A Prayer

Hello Friends -

Sorry for the long gap between posts. I'm alive, but very busy enjoying life ... abundantly!

To get you up-to-date, I've now had three "lovely" dates with Mr. Chemo.

The first date went as normal as getting toxic, cancer-busting chemicals pumped through your body can be these days. However, the after chemo side effects were a little bit different than first time around. This time, by the next day, I had a horrible taste in my mouth. The foods I love had no taste or flavor at all. I switched to a bland diet of toast, English muffins, scrambled eggs, & soup. Great for losing weight!!! And again, my legs not only had the excruciating pain between my knees and my ankles, but I had a type of restless leg syndrome. Sleep was hard to come by and I felt like a zombie! 

On top of all that, I was planning & packing to travel to my company's home office in Birmingham, Alabama for 2 weeks to train for a new account. My flight was scheduled to depart on Sunday afternoon. Thankfully, food was tasting better by then and my Mom made a big dinner before I left. After de-icing the plane, we flew to Chicago O'Hare where I would connect to my next flight. I should have had an hour and 20 minutes to not only switch gates, but terminals. Plus I was hoping to grab something to eat and use the restroom. Unfortunately, when we arrived, our gate wasn't ready, so we sat on an auxiliary runway for about 35 minutes. Well, there goes my dinner break. I got off the plane, pointed myself in the right direction and walked as fast as I humanly could go with wobbly legs and carrying a bag that was probably a good 30 pounds on my shoulder. I made it to my second flight with about 10 minutes to spare. Huffing & puffing!!! 

Sunday night, between a new place and the restless leg thing, I slept horribly. I was wide awake at 3am checking my phone for a link between chemo and restless leg syndrome and were there any quick remedies. The craziest remedy I saw was to place a bar of soap between my feet. Really??? I didn't try that, but I did try prayer and listening to music and that seemed to help. The next morning, I got up and had a wonderful breakfast of eggs & bacon. Then it was off to the office with my co-workers. However, my body decided that it wanted to purge everything in my system. So over the morning, I think I spent more time in the bathroom than at my desk. By noon, I felt so much better. And from then on, it was like night and day. Work was busy with a lot of overtime, but eating in the hotel restaurant most nights and by myself was quite boring, too. 

At the end of the 2 weeks, was our company's annual meeting in Atlanta. Over the 2 weeks, I could tell my hair was slowly beginning to get thinner & thinner. I was just praying that I wouldn't need my hats until I got home. Thankfully, I got through all my training and the meeting with no major hair loss. Of course, I was home for a day, and poof it started to go. But I praise the Lord that it stayed in my head while I was away!!! During the meeting, I was shocked to learn that I was the #8 government producer for 2015!!! Yeah me!!!! 

The new account I work on is super busy, but I'm so thankful for the job. The company has even allowed me to work while I'm getting my chemo which is a super blessing.

My 2nd date with Mr. Chemo went much better. My CA125 number went down and miracle of miracles, my platelet number went up a little bit. Answered prayer, I say!!! And the side effects weren't quite so bad due to a little change. Although I still had the bad taste in my mouth and we brought back the bland diet, it seems that my addition of doing calf stretches throughout each day kept the little men who liked to set off explosions on my legs away!!! And it also relieved me of the restless leg symptoms, too!!! WooHoo!!!!!!!! 

March 1 was my 3rd date with Mr. Chemo!!! 3 down -- 3 to go!!! Again, my CA125 number was down, however, my platelet count was also down, too. We'll have to pray hard that the platelet number doesn't get too low. If it's too low, they postpone treatment and we don't want to go any longer than absolutely necessary!!! Start praying now my prayer warriors!!!!!! 

Here are some pictures from my first 2 dates ~~

Date #1:

Date #2:

This is Karl - My Chemomeleon

I've been thinking about my one word for 2016. In fact, I knew it back in January, but then, life got crazy and busy and crazy busy. My one word for 2016 is SOAR. When I think about soaring, I think of the majestic bald eagle soaring high above the trees in the pristine wilderness of Alaska. According to baldeagleinfo.com, "to help them soar, eagles use thermals, which are rising currents of warm air and updrafts generated by terrain, such as valley edges or mountain slopes. Soaring is accomplished with very little wing-flapping, enabling them to conserve energy." 

In the same way, your prayers, good thoughts, hugs, cards, and encouragement are my thermals. They keep me from crashing to the ground and feeling sorry for myself. And some days .... 

The verse that I am clinging to this year is Isaiah 40:13, "but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." And Meredith Andrews has a wonderful song called "Soar" which is has this one line in it which just hits me, "Your name is greater than anything I've faced." Did you hear that??? Anything!!! God is greater than anything I have faced, am facing, or will face!

So where are you? Soaring with the eagles or scratching around on the ground? It's time we wait on the Lord, renew our strength and SOAR!

Prayer Warrior assignments:

* CT scan & doctor appointment - March 16. Pray that the scan will show that the nasty little fluid-filled cyst on my liver will be gone or significantly reduced in size and that I'll have another good doctor's report.

* Blood work on March 21. Pray that the platelet number is up or at the same level as chemo #3 & the CA125 number is down.

* Next date with Mr. Chemo - March 22. Pray that the side effects will not be too bad.

* And please pray for my friends who are also dealing with cancer: Ray B., Milt W., Ed S., Corinne A. (who is extremely critical), and Kathy B.

Only by His strength,
Sandy

Leaning

A tower in Pisa. An old rundown shack. Politicians. Me. 

Those would all be good clues for the category "Things/People That are Leaning" on the $25,000 Pyramid TV game show.

But life is not a game show.

God has given each of us a choice -- whether to trust Him and His leading or go our own way. Many years ago, I made the decision to trust Him and I try to follow where He leads and trust that what He puts in my path is for my good and used to bring Him glory. 

If you'll remember, at the end of October, I had a CT scan because my CA-125 number was rising. CA-125 is a marker in your blood for ovarian cancer. They did not see any cancer, but a small, fluid-filled cyst was spotted on my liver. My doctor wanted to drain some of that fluid to see what it was. So on November 6, I had a some of the fluid drained for testing and a medical drain inserted to "drain" some more of the fluid. Finally, after 24 days of my "friend" Mr. Bulby hanging around, they removed the drain. Hallelujah!!!

I found out the results of the testing during my November follow-up appointment. Results of the fluid were suspicious, but not confirmed for cancer. Just a bunch of a-typical cells floating around. However, my oncologist, Dr. A., wanted me to have another blood test and follow-up appointment at the end of December to see if the CA-125 went up or down.

With the support & prayers of many people, I had my blood work done on the morning of December 21. I didn't think I'd see/hear the results until my appointment on December 29. However, the results are published electronically to my portal on the hospital's website several days after testing. So, what did I see the morning after Christmas??? Unfortunately, the CA-125 number took a huge jump up. UGH!!!

With a friend in town for Christmas and visiting friends, etc., I didn't have much time to think about what the rising number would mean to my life.

However, the appointment with Dr. A. confirmed that those "suspicious" a-typical cells were having a party and we needed to put an end to their fun. And the only way to end their fun is 6 more rounds of chemo. This was not the news I was anticipating. I was convinced that my achy, arthritic knees and the inflammation there was the cause of my rising numbers. I was thinking... let me get the shots for my knees and see if the numbers go down. Dating Mr. Chemo again was not even on the list!!!

Again, God's ways are not my ways. We only see what's right in front of us and sometimes, we don't even see that!!! I was quite devastated and shocked. I cried. I yelled at God (not out loud). I thought ... I really hate cancer!!! And bummer, there goes my hair. Just when I was getting the hang of thick hair that holds a curl!!! But, again, God has me going through this again for a reason. I don't know now what that is, but I'm going to trust Him and lean on Him through it all.

I saw this on Ann Voskamp's facebook page yesterday. I love the saying.

And the person behind, in front, and on either side of me is the Almighty God. The Great Physician & Healer. I'm reminded of that old hymn, "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms." The words of the verses are by Elisha A. Hoffman and the refrain words are by Anthony J. Showalter. I especially like the last verse of the song. The words of the hymn are loosely based on Deuteronomy 33:27a - "The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms."

What a fellowship, what a joy divine,

Leaning on the everlasting arms;

What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Refrain

Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms;

Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.

O how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,

Leaning on the everlasting arms;

O how bright the path grows from day to day,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Refrain

What have I to dread, what have I to fear,

Leaning on the everlasting arms;

I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Refrain

Who are YOU leaning on???

To all my Prayer Warriors:

Please pray for the following --

- My first date with Mr. Chemo is scheduled for Tuesday, January 12 at 9am.

- That I would get the rest, the exercise, and the diet I need to start this treatment in the best shape.

- That God would use me for His glory every step of the way.

- That all the paperwork for my job would be filed quickly and efficiently.

Only by His Strength,

Sandy

PS. Here's a look at me today, with my current hair.

Two

Today is a good day to celebrate. 

Today we celebrate 2 years of God's faithfulness. 

Today we celebrate Him for healing and removing the cancer.

Today we celebrate Him for walking before me & with me every step of the way.

Today we celebrate Him for the good reports & the not so good reports. 

Today, we celebrate Him for hair -- which grows like a weed and is thick and wavy.

Today, we celebrate Him for employment with a great company doing a job I love.

Today, we celebrate Him for EVERYTHING!!!

Today, I celebrate Him because "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength."

It's been 2 years since I was admitted to the hospital and my life changed. So, I ask you to celebrate with me all that God has done in the last 2 years and pray with me for strength and courage to face all that God is going to do in the next days, weeks and years that I have left on this earth.

And I thank YOU, the reader of my ramblings, for your amazing prayer support!!! You rock!!!

More next week after my next follow-up oncology appointment on Tuesday, November 24.

Only by His Strength,
Sandy

Prayer works

That's right. You heard me. Prayer works. 

Last post, I asked you to pray for a clear CT scan. I received the results ... 

NO CANCER!!! 

However, I they did see a very small, fluid-filled cyst on my liver which they would like to check out. I'm currently waiting for a call from another doctor's office to schedule the procedure. I believe it will be outpatient surgery. 

More later. 

Praising the Lord for answered prayer!!!! 

Prayer Request:

Please pray that the cyst is just routine and nothing is unusual.

Only by His Strength,
Sandy