Wednesday, July 7, 2021

Say What?

I'm going to keep it short & sweet.

Unfortunately, my CA-125 number went up ... a LOT!!! 

It's gone up before, but this time, it really got to me. I really had to lean in to my faith, my family, and my friends. I had my appointment with my new oncologist, Dr. K. She is wonderful. She wants me to get a CT scan and I have another appointment with her on July 22. I currently don't have an appointment for the CT scan, but I'll post on Facebook when it is scheduled. 

I'll post more later, but I'll leave you with this song that has been playing on repeat in my mind. It called "Promises" by Maverick City Music.


Prayer Requests:

A clear CT scan

More blood work - July 19 - 8am ET

Doctor appointment - July 22 - 4:15pm ET

Wisdom & words for Proverbs 31 Bible Study writing challenge on Leviticus 27 - due July 22


Only by His Strength,

Sandy

Sunday, May 2, 2021

Jehovah Jireh

I apologize for the delay in writing, but God has been doing some amazing things in my life and I haven't had a free moment until now to sit down and tell you. Actually, it's taken several sit downs!!! LOL!!!

At the beginning of February, I had an appointment with my hematology doctor. After chatting for several minutes and an exam, we discussed if I even needed to remain on blood thinner since I was no longer in active treatment. We mutually decided that she would lower my dosage until my oncology appointment at the end of March. If all was good, I could finish whatever pills I had left and I would not need to get a refill and I would not need to see her again. 

On March 30, I had a follow-up oncology visit. I thought I might meet my new oncologist, but alas, my appointment was with J.M., the Advance Practice Nurse (APN). After the exam and going over the blood test results, she said the most fabulous words ..... "see you in 3 months." And, I actually made an appointment with the doctor who will be my new oncologist moving forward. My CA125 was up 4 points, but still well within "normal" range and I was advised that the elevated number could have been due to my 2nd Pfizer vaccination on March 18. After my appointment, I went up to the infusion floor to have my port "flushed" and then headed home. 

Fully vaccinated as of April 1, 2021!!!

Thank you Jehovah Jireh for good appointments. 
You provide me with continued good health and I no longer need to be on a blood thinner.

At the end of March, I was feeling very restless. I was still fighting with unemployment and I had no idea when my full-time job would call me back. Plus my bank account was getting smaller and smaller due to paying COBRA health insurance for almost a year!!! So, I decided to get a part-time job. I applied for and was hired by Instacart to do in-store grocery shopping at Wegman's in Cherry Hill. I did my in-store training on April 1 and I had my first shift on Friday, April 2. It was pretty easy as long as the store had the items on the shelves and it was very good exercise. Most days, I walked about 2 miles while pushing a sometimes very full cart. It was great getting paid to exercise!!! 


Thank you Jehovah Jireh for a part-time job. 
You provided me with some income to pay my bills.

On April 13, while riding with my sister on the way to Bible Study, my phone display lit up and a call was coming in from my employer's number. Interesting. When I answered, it was one of the managers who works with government accounts. She asked if I wanted my job back starting on Monday, April 19. YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After talking for a few minutes, and being late to Bible Study, all I can say is ....


Thank you Jehovah Jireh for restoring my full-time job. 
You provide me with increased income and have restored health & dental care and many other benefits. I'm so thankful that I no longer have to pay COBRA premiums!!!

If you'll remember, I have been fighting for my unemployment benefits since the end of June 2020. I was even working with a woman from my state representative's office. She sent emails and made calls for weeks and months. Finally, one afternoon in early April, I received a call from the NJ Department of Labor. The caller identified himself and advised that the reason I had not been paid was that I need a "back to work" note from my doctor after my short-term disability was over. Of course, no one ever would have thought of that since I was unemployed!!! Once I emailed a copy of that note from my doctor's office, ALL of my unemployment money was deposited in my bank account. Hallelujah!!!


Thank you Jehovah Jireh for resolving my issues with unemployment. 
You provided for me for many months without any income. 

At the end of January, I entered another writing challenge from Proverbs 31 Ministries. This challenge was on the topic of  SPREADING HOPE. They had several different categories from grief to health crisis to seasons of uncertainty. Of course, I felt led to write about hope in a health crisis. Only 30-45 devotions would be chosen. With the help of a friend in one of my  Ovarian Cancer groups on Facebook, I "tweaked" a previous blog post. I chose the one I wrote based on 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Unfortunately, my devotion was not chosen. 


Thank you Jehovah Jireh for always giving me words to write and encouragement from friends to keep writing. 
Through the Compel division of Proverbs 31 Ministries, you provide me with training and resources to continue writing for your glory. 

If you read through the Bible, Jehovah provided for his people many times over. But the greatest provision was the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ's death on the cross for our sins. He overcame death and rose from the grave and is now in heaven preparing a place for all those who believe. Do you believe???

This song by Cory Asbury talks about how God provides. It's called "Sparrows."


Prayer Requests:

* Friday, June 25 - next blood draw - same or lower CA-125

* Thursday, July 1 - meet new oncologist - good first meeting

* Pray for me - After over a year of not working, plus 9 chemo treatments, my memory of some of my job functions is a little fuzzy. It's slowly coming back, but pray I don't screw anyone's travel reservation up in the mean time!!!

* Pray for complete healing for my friend Michelle D. who has been in the hospital with COVID for many, many weeks. She finally "graduated" from ICU, but still has a long way to go.

* Pray for my friend Marlene D for the strength she needs to go through an intense chemo regime and for the treatments to work!

* Pray for my friend Joy E who was diagnosed last summer with brain cancer. Treatments don't seem to be working. She needs the prayers of God's people for wisdom & miraculous healing.

Thank you Jehovah Jireh for family and friends!!! Love & hugs to all!!!!!

First haircut after chemo by my friend Kim (in the mirror). April 17, 2021


Only by His Strength,
Sandy















Friday, January 8, 2021

How's Your Hope?

Ephesians 1:15-23

Key Verse:  Ephesians 1:18 “…having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,…”

Teaching:

I asked my Facebook friends this question – In 5 words or less, what do you HOPE for? I received many answers ranging from salvation for family and friends, spiritual revival, that their children would be happy, spiritual and world peace, be kind, good health, financial stability, and that Christians would be anti-racist, start speaking like Christ and stop promoting division in the church. As a cancer survivor, I hope for a cure.

In the Old Testament, one of the words for hope is “yakhal”. It means “to wait.” After 40 days and nights of rain, Noah and his family had to “yakhal” while the waters receded. (Gen 8:12) Job, after Satan had taken away his family, his possessions, and his health states, “Though he slay me, I will “yakhal” in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face…” (Job 13:15) In the book of Psalms, David and the other writers expound on “yakhal.” (Psalm 31, 33, 38, 42, 43, 69, 71, 119, 130, 131, 147) They wait for the Lord.

The prophet Micah, inspired by God, foretells the people of Israel of the coming of the great Shepherd. (Micah 5:1-5) In the final chapter of Micah, the prophet is complaining that there is no comfort to be found in family or friends. This need for comfort sends Micah to the only One who can provide that comfort. In Micah 7:7, he looks to the Lord and “yakhal” for the “God of my salvation.” Micah truly found his hope in the Lord.

As the New Testament begins, we find the Israelites still longing for deliverance; only this time from the Roman government. They remember that God saved them in the past, like their ancestors who were delivered through the Red Sea from the hands of the Egyptians. Biblical hope is about looking forward by first looking back. (Psalm 39:7)

As Paul is writing to the Christians in Ephesus, he is under house arrest in Rome and chained to a member of the Praetorian Guard. (Acts 28:30) At the time, this would seem like a hopeless situation. But Paul’s hope is not based on his situation.  He knows the Christians at Ephesus. He spent 3 years with them. (Acts 19-21) He is writing to encourage them in their walk -- just like he is encouraging us.

The Greek word for hope in verse 18 is “elpis.” It means a future hope, as in the return of Christ. Paul has already written about their faith and love (v. 15). Interesting that Paul wrote one of the most memorable verses about faith, hope, and love (1 Corinthians 13:13) while in Ephesus. Paul had also written to the Christians in Rome while in Ephesus and points out (Romans 8:24) that our “elpis” is Jesus Christ alone and to wait patiently for His return. (Romans 8:25) That is the “elpis” that he reminds the faithful at Ephesus of in v.18.

Paul also mentions in verse 18 that only the Holy Spirit can “open and enlighten” our hearts so we can understand the full blessings of God and that it is only by His grace that one can partake in the eternal riches of “his glorious inheritance” both here on earth and in heaven.

If Paul wrote hymns, he could have written this timeless one, “My Hope is Built on Nothing Less/Solid Rock.” Here is the first verse: “My hope (elpis) is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.”

My Moment: With all that is going on in the world, what are you putting your hope (elpis) in today?

Comment: I must admit, some days my hope fails. As a cancer survivor, it is often hard to look towards the future. You daily live with so much uncertainty. However, I look forward to seeing my Savior and walking the streets of gold with a cancer-free body. But for now, it is my responsibility to share that future hope (elpis) with my family, friends, and neighbors. Every day.

More Moments About Ephesians 1:15-23:

Throughout the New Testament, Paul conveys through his letters that he is always giving thanks for his readers and he is remembering them in his prayers. (v. 16) He is giving us a model to use today. First, he gives thanks to God and it probably wasn’t a quick three word prayer. He was thankful:

·         for their faith

·         for their love for the saints.

·         for their spiritual gifts

·         for their partnership in the gospel

·         for their mutual affection.

We, too, when heads are bowed should be thanking God for our church leaders and those who are in ministry locally, regionally, and globally.

The second part of verse 16 admonishes us to “remember” to pray for others. And how does Paul suggest that we pray?

·         with joy (Philippians 1:3-6)

·         not to be anxious (Philippians 4:6-7)

And what does Paul suggest that we pray for?

·         for full understanding (Philemon 5-7)

·         to abound in grace (Philippians 4:23)

·         that love would increase and overflow (1 Thess 3:13)

·         to be watchful (Colossians 4:24)

·         to fearlessly make know the mystery of the gospel (Ephesians 6:19-20)

These are just a few of the ways Paul teaches us what to pray for and how to pray because in verse 17, he wants the Spirit to reveal the deeper things of God.

Major Moment: Ephesians 1:15-23 – Paul prays and gives thanks

Wednesday, January 6, 2021

Perfect 20/20 Vision - My reflection of the past year

When 2020 started, everyone looked at the year and thought ... perfect vision. Even the annual meeting for the company I work for was titled, "Perfect Vision." At the end of January, my sister and I made settlement on our home and moved back with our father. Which was ...  Perfect!!!

Then March came and the world became very familiar with the words novel coronavirus or COVID-19. As the months dragged on, we realized that our January 1st vision filled with hopes, dreams and infinite possibilities, was now that of the walls of our homes, the faces of our family, and the computer or the television screen. Mask making, mask wearing, and mask etiquette were now commonplace. Zoom meetings became the only way to safely see your relatives and friends or meet with business associates. Toilet paper became a hot commodity along with Clorox wipes and baking supplies. Not that we didn't know, but nurses, doctors, and first responders were/are considered essential workers along with grocery store workers, truck drivers, waste management workers, and a whole host of others. 

What we should have seen coming but didn't was the intense reactions to the racial inequalities due to the horrific deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd -- just to name a few. 

We should have seen the political battle that was brewing and continues to divide many friends, families, neighborhoods, and churches, but we chose to see only what we want to see and hear what we want to hear! 

For me, 2020 was a year that I would not like to see again ... EVER!!! Through the 9 nights in the hospital, the 9 rounds of chemo, 2 intense allergic reactions, several CT scans, the endless blood work, and the numerous doctor appointments, the Lord was with me always and somehow, I was able to find joy through it all. It wasn't easy, especially during the days following chemo treatments, when I felt like a slug, but I tried and usually succeeded. 

At my last doctor visit on December 29, I received good news that my CA-125 had even gone down a little bit more. PTL!!! My doctor also gave me a choice ... do nothing and come back in 3 months or start on a maintenance drug called Zejula which has many, many side effects. I would also need to have blood work and a doctor visit once a month. After much prayer, research, and discussion with my family, I have decided not to take the drug. It was also a sad day. My oncologist's last day at MDA would be December 31. He has taken a new position that was closer to his home & family. I will miss him dearly, but wish him many blessings in his new position. I was truly blessed to have him as my oncologist for 7 years!!!

On top of all my medical issues, I saw my employment disappear at the beginning of April. And although I was able to collect short-term disability until mid-June, it has been a 6 month battle to fight for my unemployment benefits and I am still waiting to see my money. However, things are starting to look up!!! In fact, I have been in contact with a representative of the state who is assisting with my unemployment claim. I was also contacted by the HR department at my job to see if I was interested coming back, but to a different position. Again, after prayer and discussion with my family, I emailed back that I was indeed interested. Now, I'm just waiting for all the details.

In Matthew 6:33, it states, "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." What things??? The verses prior explain "what things." Verses 31-32 tell us, "Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all." Although unemployed and doing chemo, God took such good care of me. I didn't worry about food or drink or clothing or roof over my head or finances or my hair growing back or anything!!!

This song by Josh Baldwin has been playing on Christian radio over the past several months. When I listen to the words, I think, this could be my 2020 theme song. This line in the chorus gets me every time, "I see the evidence of Your goodness, All over my life." 

Goodness you say??? I know what you're thinking ... 2020 was a dumpster fire at best!!! The lock downs, the fear, the anxiety, working from home, students learning from home, protests, death of loved ones, hospitalizations, and the list could go on and on and on. BUT, I urge you to SEE the goodness of God all around you. Did you witness a beautiful sunrise or sunset, a blooming flower, a butterfly flitting by, a drive-by for a birthday, a wedding on Facebook live, a smile from a friend or neighbor??? Did you enjoy a cool breeze after a hot day, laughter, a hug or a chat with a loved one??? Those things plus many, many others are the goodness of God. I urge you dear readers, don't focus on the bad things of this world. Focus on the the kingdom of God!!! That's where you find true joy!!!

Prayer requests:

  • Next blood work - March 25 - 7:30am ET
  • Next Doctor appointment - March 30 - 1:00pm ET
  • That my unemployment issue would be resolved quickly!!!

Only by His Strength,

Sandy


PS - I'll also be posting the Bible study I entered in the Proverbs 31/First 5 app on Friday, January 8. This would have been the day it would have been on the app if my entry had been chosen. ☺

Thursday, November 19, 2020

It's All in The Genes

In my last post, if you'll remember, I had been to see a Genetic Counselor (GC) and they took a vial of blood to send to a lab for genetic testing. Well, last Friday (November 13), I received a call from the GC and she advised that my results had come back and I had no mutations on any of the 47 genes they tested. 

I'm not a mutant. 

I'm normal. 

Really??? 

So, where did the cancer come from??? Why me??? I don't know where the cancer came from. I don't know why I got cancer. But I do know that I thank God for cancer and that He will get all the glory and honor and praise through it all. 

This song from Jonathan Traylor "You Get The Glory" says it all:


One of my sayings when something "bad" happens in my life is "for my good & His glory." Can you say that with all that's swirling around us each day? My prayer is that I will always have that attitude. - "For my good & His glory."

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!! May your blessings be many even though fewer people may be at your table!!!

Prayer Requests:

December 22, 7am - Blood draw. Please pray that my CA-125 number has remained where it was at the end of October (or lower) and that my other numbers have improved to where they should be.

December 29, 9am - Doctor appointment. Please pray for wisdom as post-chemo maintenance treatments are discussed.


Only by His Strength,

Sandy

Thursday, November 5, 2020

Family Ties

During the week of October 19, I had a flu shot, a pneumonia shot, a CT scan and a mammogram and my blood drawn. The two tests I was most concerned about were the CT scan and the lab results. I needed the answers so I would know if I would be have another round of chemo. After many, many prayers by many of you reading this blog, I received the results of the CT scan on Wednesday afternoon. Praise the Lord!!! ... It was clear and looked good!!!! Now I had to wait until Friday to get the results from Thursday's blood draw. On Friday afternoon, I received the call ..... my CA125 went back down to 27.7!!! Praise the Lord!!! Then to complete the cycle, my oncologist's nurse called on Monday to confirm ..... no more chemo!!! Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!

On Tuesday, October 27, I had my follow-up appointment. After the physical exam, my doctor sat down and talked about genetic testing. He wants me to do genetic testing to see if I have certain markers/mutations related to cancer. Once he gets the results, that will guide him with my post-chemo treatment options. But the best news at my visit was when he said .... "See you in 2 months!!!" WooHoo!!!! 2 months!!!! I was expecting 6 weeks, but 2 months is AWESOME!!!!!! The only downer of the day was that because my magnesium count was so low, I had to go up to the infusion floor and sit for 2 hours while they hooked me up and had a magnesium drip. 

So... yesterday (November 3) I had my initial visit with a genetic counselor (GC). After asking many questions about my personal health history, she then asked about my family's medical history - back as far as my grandparents. She was especially looking for cancer trends. I have a very small family. The only person in my family that passed from cancer was my aunt. After explaining testing and gene panels, etc., I decided to have the full testing. I kept thinking, knowledge is power and I want to know if there is something in my body's make-up that make me more susceptible to other cancers or diseases. Once I finished talking to the GC, they came and took about 1/2 a vial of blood to send to the lab that does the genetic testing. I should hear back from the GC in about 3-4 weeks to discuss the results. 

With all this talk of family, I got to thinking, I'm part of a much bigger family .... the family of God. I became a part of this family when I asked Jesus to be my Savior and Lord when I was 9 years old. That makes me one of God's kids and if you're a believer, than you're my sister or brother!!! And just like in any family, there are some disagreements and misunderstandings. However, in the end, we should all agree that Jesus is Sovereign and His love never ends. The world should see our family as one who lives and shows the "fruit of the Spirit." Galatians 5:22-23 defines them as, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Are you showing your "fruit" to the world??? And I heard once that you can't show any fruit at all unless you have the first one and that is LOVE!!! Do you truly show love? To your earthly family? To God's family? Even if they have a different color skin? Didn't vote the way you did? The only way the world will notice a difference is in how we LOVE!!! Remember the old campfire song, "They'll Know We are Christians" it's a simple truth .... it's by our LOVE!!! So go out and show some love today, tomorrow, and every day!!! 

I found this recording of the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir singing "They'll know we are Christians by our Love." It's a different tune than you may be used to, but it's a powerful message to everyone. Sit back, close your eyes, and listen to the words, then go show some LOVE!!!


Prayer requests:

- Pray that whatever the results of the genetic testing, I will have wisdom to make good decisions regarding my health.

- Pray that my energy will return soon!!!

- Pray that my unemployment issues will be resolved quickly.

- Blood draw on Tuesday, December 22 - pray that my CA125 is still low and my platelets and magnesium numbers are up.

- Doctor follow-up on Tuesday, December 29 - pray for wisdom as post-chemo treatment options are discussed. 


And November 20 is my 7 year surgery anniversary when they found the cancer. What a journey it has been!!! I thank God for his love and leading every day!!! And I thank you for your many, many prayers and good thoughts on my behalf over the years. Love & hugs to you!!!


By His Strength,

Sandy


PS - Remember I entered a writing challenge at the end of July? Well, it was for Proverbs 31 Ministries and their First 5 app. I heard a few weeks ago that my entry was not chosen. I was a bit bummed at first, but I realized that I learned so much from doing the research on the passage that I would never have done had I not entered. I will continue to learn, continue to write, and continue to enter writing challenges. I will post what my entry was on the first Friday of January. That's when it would have been on the app if my entry had been chosen. If you haven't downloaded the app already, please look for First 5 where you find apps. It's a great way to start your day!!! And a new study begins on November 9.

Monday, October 12, 2020

Even Here ... Hallelujah

The past 10 days have been quite a whirlwind. Blood drawn, bags packed, chemo schedules altered, flight to a wedding celebration, breakfast with family in hotel room, quick drive through Clemson University, lunch with a long-time friend, back to the airport, church, doctor's appointments, test results, a Zoom book study, plus actually sitting in the chair and having chemicals pumped through your body in hopes of killing or slowing down the beast inside. No wonder I was so tired over the weekend and spent much of the time curled in a chair sleeping.


My hematology doctor appointment on Monday, October 5 went well and we'll evaluate my situation in a few months. At that point, she may cut my blood thinner dosage down. That was the good news of the week. After I got home from my early AM hematology appointment, I was able to access the results from my blood work. To say I was disappointed would be a huge understatement!!! How could my CA-125 go up??? Dear Lord ... what's going on??? Why God, why????

Then on Tuesday morning while waiting for my oncology appointment, I kept getting emails that I was scheduled for another round of chemo infusions. What??? This was number 3, this was it. Third times the charm ... right??? When I finally saw the doctor, he didn't even mention the higher CA-125 number and talked of getting another CT scan, etc. When I questioned about the added dates, he just said easier to cancel that to schedule if another was needed. Although that news was somewhat comforting .... I DON'T WANT TO DO ANOTHER ROUND OF CHEMO!!!!!!!! I am tired of chemo. I'm tired of cancer. I'm tired of being tired all the time. I'm tired of wearing a hat. I'm tired of not being able to have energy to do anything. 

The only thing I'm not tired of is God's unswerving faithfulness through this journey. 

Recently, a song has been playing on Christian radio - "Hallelujah, Even Here" sung by Linda Laird. It has quickly become a favorite. But, what does hallelujah mean? Most of us think of the timeless classical piece, "The Hallelujah Chorus" and that's our main reference to the word hallelujah. Alternatively, if something good happens to us, we may exclaim ... "Hallelujah!" This compound word has two parts. The first part - hallelu - means to praise joyously. The second part of the word - yah - is short for Yahweh, the God of the Israelites. In the ESV (English Standard Version) Bible, the word hallelujah is only found in Revelation 19 under the subtitle, "Rejoicing in Heaven." Hallelujah is the word that saints and those who've gone before us are saying around the throne of God Almighty. This word should not be uttered lightly!

With all that has happened over the past several days/weeks, I will still joyously praise God my Father for whatever happens in my life. I may not always like what's happening, but my life is in His hands. Hallelujah ... even here!!!

 


Prayer requests:

- Clear CT scan. Not scheduled as yet, currently waiting for pre-certification.

- Labwork - Thursday, October 22 - 8:30am ET - pray for lower CA-125 number and good platelet number.

- Oncology follow-up appointment - Tuesday, October 27 - 8:30am ET

- Chemo - round 10 - Tuesday & Wednesday, October 27 & 28 (if necessary


As always I am constantly amazed by your friendship, your constant prayers and your ongoing encouragement. I am so thankful for YOU!!!


Only by His Strength,

Sandy