In The Wait

Tuesday, June 23 began as any other chemo date. I woke up, showered, had breakfast, packed my lunch, got dressed, and packed my "things to do" bag. I was happy because this was Date #5 of 6. My sister dropped me off at MD Anderson and waited until they checked my temperature, etc. I had my doctor appointment first and of course, I knew my CA125 had gone down 4 points to 30!!! PTL!!! My platelets had dipped a little, too, but not too the "no chemo today point." The doctor seemed happy with my progress and dismissed me to the 3rd floor to start my date with Mr. Chemo.

I was escorted back to my designated seat. This time, I had the corner office!!! Not great views, but acceptable. 

Everything went well with all the pre-meds. Then they hooked me up for the slow Taxol drip. No problems. I relaxed and took a nap thanks to the Benadryl in the pre-meds. After snoozing for about an hour or so, I was feeling hungry, so, I thought .... lunchtime!!! Unfortunately, the little table that attaches to the chair is not very well conceived or constructed. In my humble opinion, it is too small, on the wrong side, and not level with the arms of the chair. And the worst part is ... it slants!!! Knowing this, my nurse had shoved a small, flat tissue box under the back part so things wouldn't slip off. Unfortunately, over the course of a few hours, the tissue box flattened and my water bottle crashed to the ground, the lid broke off and water spilled all over the floor!!! What a mess!!! Thankfully, the nurses brought over some blankets and dried up all the water. Such excitement before noon!!!

After lunch, my Taxol drip was complete and they started the next round of pre-meds so they could start the slow drip for the Carboplatin. At this point I fought off taking another snooze and opened up my laptop and started working on some business stuff. At some point, my palms started to itch. My thoughts ... "the air in here must be really dry." "I need to get some hand lotion from my handbag." "Geez, now the tops of my hands are itchy." "If I don't stop scratching, I'm going to make myself bleed!!!" At that point, my nurse comes over to bump up my Carbo drip. I show her my hands and now my face is flushed and I have blotches up and down my arms!!! YIKES!!! She immediately stops the Carbo drip and I am immediately surrounded by 6-7 nurses and one nurses hooks me up to the oxygen tank. Here I am not looking too happy being on oxygen!!! 

The nurse contacted my oncologist and he advised not to finish my Carbo drip for the day. So, they gave me some more IV fluids until my red face and blotchiness disappeared. Then, I called my sister for my ride home. The nurse assured me that the doctor would contact me and advise next steps. Well ... as of writing this, it's been a week and I have not heard a peep from my doctor or any of his associates. At first it was very frustrating, then I was kind of mad. Now, I'm just figuring, if he's not concerned, than neither am I. So, now that 99% of my side effects are gone, I'll move on with my life and my things to do list. 

Waiting area at MD Anderson, Camden, NJ

But still I'm waiting. Waiting for a call. Waiting for an answer. Waiting for a cure!!! Throughout the Bible, God's people, prophets, disciples and apostles all waited. They waited to be delivered, they waited for a blessing, they waited for a King!!!

For the past several months, most of us have waited or sheltered at home. Our "normal" activities and movements became non existent. We waited for church buildings to open, stores to open, for restaurants to open, and most importantly, we waited for the beauty parlor/nail salon to open up!!! Not me, though, I still have no hair!!! LOL!!! 

In this time of pandemic, what are you doing in the wait? Are you mumbling and complaining or are you learning and growing in the Lord? Here are several verses from Psalms about waiting:

Psalm 25:5 "Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long."

Psalm 25:21 "May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you."

Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

Psalm 31:24 "Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!"

Psalm 33:20 "Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield."

Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!"

Psalm 37:34 "Wait for the Lord and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off."

Psalm 39:7 "“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you."

Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry."

Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;"

But there is one thing I'm really waiting for ....... My Lord's return to gather his followers and take them to heaven. I don't know when that's going to happen, I just know I ready for it to happen!!! Are you???

In the meantime, here is a great song written by Chris Tomlin, Jesse Reeves & Martin Smith titled "Waiting Here for You." Performed by Christy Nockels.

Until He returns or calls me home, that's what I'll be doing ... waiting here for You!!!

Prayer Requests:

Blood work at 7am ET on Thursday, July 9

• Pray for lower CA-125 number
• Pray for increased platelets
• Pray for easy blood draw

Last date with Mr. Chemo on Tuesday, July 14 - YEAH!!!

• Pray for good appointment with oncology APN
• Pray for wisdom - hopefully, life after chemo will be discussed
• Pray for no allergic reaction to either of my chemo drugs

Please pray for me. I signed up to participate in a Christian devotional writing "contest." My entry is due on July 24. Pray for divine guidance, His words, and that He would grow me through the process.

Bracelets from my "niece"

Only by His Strength,
Sandy

The Great Divide

Tuesday, June 2nd started early due to an actual in-person appointment with my oncologist. And although, through the power of technology, I knew my numbers and the results of my CT scan, it was good to hear the doctor say ... "everything looks good." My CA125 is down to 34 and my platelets were up to 156!!! Praise the Lord!!! He concluded the appointment with his thoughts about life after chemo. Time will tell what direction he will go. Please pray for wisdom for both of us.

After the appointment, I headed to the 3rd floor to wait for infusion to ready my chair. With only a few minutes wait, I was escorted to a chair that was fairly secluded. I would be there for about 8 hours, so, fine by me!!! During the day, I napped, I ate, I worked on business stuff, and I watched a couple of TV shows. There were no problems with either of the chemo drugs. YEAH! It's just a very, very, long, tiring day sitting in a chair hooked up to Mr. Chemo.

Here are a couple of pictures of my day. All I can say is, "Nobody puts me in the corner," but... Mr. Chemo??? Absolutely!!!

View from my window:

Outside MD Anderson:

Before I write these blog posts, I ask the Lord to guide my thoughts and write what He wants me to write. A few weeks ago, I was very sure I was given the word comparison. I started to dwell on it, etc. But since that time, a LOT has happened in the world and I believe God is compelling me to address the issue of race. Recently, a black man was senselessly murdered by a white police officer while 3 other officers looked on. This horrific scene was just weeks after we learned of several other black men & women murdered at the hands of white persons for no other reason than the color of their skin. Unfortunately, this hatred/violence against persons of color is deeply rooted in the history of our country. I do not claim to be any type of authority on the issues of racism, white privilege, African-American history, or social injustice ... and the list could go on and on and on.
What I do know is that throughout the Bible, God's shows His unfailing love for people. He speaks about justice. He speaks about equality. He speaks about peace. He speaks about how to treat others. He speaks truth!!! Over the past weeks, I have listened and read from so many voices -- some share their experiences, others give opinions of what should be done, and some sadly still voice contempt and hatred. 
At times, I felt overwhelmed. During those times, the first voice I listened for was the voice of God. I studied His Word and found Christian voices that directed me. One verse that keeps filling my mind is Micah 6:8, "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" I believe this is the way we should live.
This video by The Bible Project on "Justice" provides a basic, yet excellent explanation of justice throughout the Bible.

The injustices in this country will never change unless I change my heart, my choices, and my lifestyle and use my God-given gifts and talents for His glory. Change is never easy, but this change will be so worthwhile!!!

As Christians, I/we must do better at bridging the racial divide in this country. There are so many great resources available. A good starting point is "Be The Bridge" a ministry founded by Latasha Morrison. Her book, "Be The Bridge" is now on the NYT best seller list. For more information: bethebridge.com

I want to let you know that this has been the most difficult post I have written. I have probably offended someone. I've probably lost friends. But, I know that God is leading me on this path of learning to bring unity to His Kingdom here on earth.

I'll leave you with this song by Mandisa, featuring TobyMac, and Kirk Franklin.

Prayer Requests:

Next bloodwork - Thursday, June 18 early morning. Please pray for a lower CA125 number and a continued good platelet number.
Next doctor appointment & date #5 with Mr. Chemo - Tuesday, June 23



In His Strength,
Sandy