Into the Unknown

If you've watched any Disney movies in the past couple of years, you'll remember the popular sequel to Frozen ... Frozen 2. In the movie, Queen Elsa and her sister Anna are ruling over Arendelle when Elsa starts hearing a voice calling to her. She sings the iconic "Into the Unknown" song, reawakens the "spirits," and then Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, Sven, and Olaf set off to find the "unknown" voice and why it is calling to her. After finding the enchanted forest and learning new information about the death of her parents, Elsa takes off alone to follow the unknown voice. You'll have to watch the movie to find out the rest of the story. 

Fortunately, there isn't much "unknown" when you're on your sixth date with Mr. Chemo. After my follow-up appointment on Tuesday, where they ordered another CT scan and advised my numbers were going in the right direction, I asked a few questions. Of course, without definite details, the answers were somewhat hypothetical. Because my CA-125 only dropped from 76 to 67, I asked what if my CA-125 didn't get back to a "normal" level of 35? I was advised that it would probably depend more on what the CT scan showed than the actual CA-125 number. Armed with that information, I head up to the infusion floor for what was to be a long day hooked up to Mr. Chemo. After my usual napping and eating lunch, I worked on some business stuff for a while. Towards the end of my infusion, there was some commotion on the other side of the partition from where I was seated. The girl in the chair was crying out in agony. I don't know what was happening to her body with the treatment, but I could tell she was writhing in pain and that she was scared. There were several nurses with her trying to calm her down so they could remove her IV. They were also trying to reach her doctor so they could prescribe something to reduce the pain. At that point, I just stopped whatever I was doing and bowed my head and prayed. After what seemed like a long time, the doctor actually arrived, called in some meds, and helped calm everything down. By the time I was unhooked and ready to leave, the girl was much calmer, and I thanked the Lord for answering my prayers.

On Wednesday, I had the same nurse as the girl from the night before. Without giving personal information, she let me know that the girl was much improved by the time she left on Tuesday night. Because I arrived early on Wednesday, I was taken earlier which was great because my nurse advised that they were going to slow down my infusion because I always seemed to have a reaction. So, after all the pre-meds, etc., I took a nap, ate my lunch, and watched a movie. Soon it was time to say good-bye to Mr. Chemo, but since my regular ride could not be there for a couple of hours, I texted my fabulous neighbor to see if she could come and get me. Thankfully, she was available and soon I was on my way home!!! Thank you SC!!!

So, as I write this post, I am waiting on the unknown. The dictionary defines unknown as not within the range of one's knowledge, experience, or understanding; strange; unfamiliar. I don't know what the CT scan will reveal. I don't know what my blood work numbers will be. I don't know what the doctor will say. I don't know how that will impact my life in the short term. 

What I do know is the following:

Noah didn't know how to build an ark, but God knew.

Moses didn't know how to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, but God knew.

Esther didn't know that requesting an audience with the king would save her people, but God knew.

Joseph didn't know that being sold into slavery would someday save his family, but God knew.

Daniel didn't know that eating his veggies would save him from lions, but God knew.

David didn't know that being a shepherd would one day make him a king, but God knew.

Mary didn't know that her firstborn son would save the world, but God knew.

The disciples didn't know that following Jesus would lead to new life, but God knew.

Zacchaeus didn't know his life would change when he climbed a tree, but God knew.

Saul didn't know that encountering a light on a road would change his name and lead him to the life of an itinerant preacher, but God knew.

We all have unknowns in our lives - relationships, employment, health, financial, and the list goes on. It's how we deal with the unknowns that make all the difference. Do you withdraw into fear and anger or do you dig deep and trust in God? I love this quote by Corrie ten Boom, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." It goes hand in hand with the quote, "I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future."

As the days pass, I sometimes find myself worried/anxious about the future, but then I remember .... God knows.

This is a popular song on Christian radio. It's by a sibling group called CAIN. And yes, that's their last name. It's a fun video with bright colors and deep meaning. Enjoy!!!

Prayer Requests:

** Wednesday, March 30 - 9:30am ET - CT scan

    - Please pray for a very clear scan. The results of this test may determine if I am done with chemo or I need more rounds.

** Tuesday, April 5 - 7:30am ET - Blood draw

    - Please pray for a lower CA-125

** Thursday, April 7 - 9:45am ET - Doctor appointment

    - Please pray for a good report & wisdom for any decisions that need to be made.

** Please continue to pray for all the organizations, religious & national, that are working with the Ukrainian refugees in Europe. Pray also for the millions of refugees that are heading into the unknown. **

Only by His Strength,

Sandy