I know it has been a long time since I've written, but so much has changed since my last blog post. Hopefully, I can give you a fair amount of details without writing a novel.
After my last blog post, I started taking the pills to beat down the low-grade ovarian cancer. By the end of that week, I was really starting to feel awful. I was nauseous all the time. I wasn't sleeping well, but I still had to work and take care of my sister. It was beginning to take a toll on me, but I had to keep going. Plus, I was visiting my Dad at the rehab facility every other day. Then on Friday, October 4, I received a phone call from the facility, they were taking Dad back to the hospital because his hemoglobin was low. Thankfully, the hospital is less than a mile from the house and they have valet parking!!!
When I went to see him on Saturday, I could tell Dad was not doing well. He was not talking, and he wasn't eating. I just talked to him and held his hand. The doctor's discussed putting in a feeding tube, but in his current state, we thought he would try to pull it out and then we'd be right back in the hospital to try and reinsert it. I did not want this for Dad.
Meanwhile, I'm feeling worse and worse. On Monday, October 7, I came home from Bible study and yelled up the stairs to let Janet know that I was home. She said OK, and I stayed down, turned on the tv, and watched some football. Of course, I fell asleep. When I woke up, I realized it was later that I expected. I hurried to turn off the tv, check that doors were locked, and turned off the lights and headed upstairs. When I got upstairs, I found my sister totally out of it. She was fairly unresponsive. I haven't been this scared in all my life. I grabbed my phone and dialed 911. They came and took her to the same hospital as Dad. I stayed with her in the ER until they moved her to a room. I found out she had pneumonia. Of course, I still was feeling crappy, so I went home and tried to sleep for a few hours. That didn't work out very well, but I rested.
Thankfully, Janet & Dad were on the same floor in the hospital. It made visiting them fairly easy. Janet improved with antibiotics and Dad just slept. After a week in the hospital, Janet was released to go to a rehab facility where hopefully she would regain some strength. About the same time, Janet & I made the hard decision to put Dad in hospice care. On that Monday, he was approved to go to Samaritan's Hospice in Voorhees.
Meanwhile, I had called my primary care doctor to get an appointment. I was scheduled for Tuesday afternoon and Tuesday afternoon could come fast enough. By the time I saw the doctor, I was in agony. I was short of breath and nauseous. After looking me over, she prescribed some medicine and a chest x-ray. So, I went across the street to Cooper Radiology in Voorhees and got the chest x-ray. I figured while I was in Voorhees, I go visit my Dad. The facility is beautiful. Dad again slept the entire time I was there, but I chatted with him and told him I was probably going in the hospital because I didn't feel well. It was getting late, so I kissed his forehead and said good-bye. On the way home, I also stopped to see Janet. By the time I got home, I was exhausted and unable to eat anything. That night, I barely slept. I tossed and turned and felt like I was going to throw-up most of the night.
On Wednesday morning, I called the doctor back and she recommended that I go to the ER, my favorite place ... NOT!!! I called a friend to see if they could take me and arranged a time. While trying to pack a bag to take to the hospital, the hospice facility called and advised that Dad had passed away. I was thankful that his misery was over, and he was greeted by His Savior in heaven. He was also reunited with Mom. I called Janet to let her know as well. Then, I called the funeral director to let him know.
My friend picked me up and off I went to the ER. About 8pm, I was led back to a room in the ER where they took more vitals, gave me a lovely IV, and I was able to eat a little bit. Of course, the food did not stay down. They took me for a CT scan, too. I did lay down on the "bed" and slept for a little bit. Next thing I remember is being wheeled into surgery. I remember looking at the clock on the wall and it was midnight. The next thing I remember is waking up in ICU on Friday morning with my hands restrained. I lost a whole day!!! Plus, I realized, I had also lost a lot of me. Apparently, I had a large bowel obstruction which needed to be fixed and redirected to an ileostomy. I also have another opening called a mucous fistula. I'm now, truly a "bag" lady!!!
I was also moved to a surgical recovery floor. I had a nice, private room with a window. For the next week or so, I still had a lovely NG tube down my throat, and I was only allowed ice chips and a little sponge with water. They finally took out the tube and I could eat jello, etc. Unfortunately, that didn't sit well in my stomach, so, they had to reinsert the NG tube. Horrible!!! After another couple of days with no food, and extreme dry mouth, they removed the tube again. Yeah!!! So, we tried some low fiber food and finally, I was able to keep it down. WooHoo!!! I would like to make a disclaimer. This is NOT the best way to lose weight.
Now that I was on a surgical recovery floor, I was assigned physical therapy, and they got me out of bed and into the chair every day. Plus, every morning I had blood drawn, the doctors showed up and looked at my incision and changed my packing. All that before breakfast!!! Once I was able, they took me to the pulmonary floor and my pleural effusion around my left lung was drained. At least I could breathe a little bit better. I even had a pic line for about a week so that I could get extra nutrition. About every 3-4 days, I had "lessons" on how to take care of myself and my bags. At first, it was fairly daunting, but as time went on, it became easier.
Since I would be going home to an empty house, I thought I would go to a rehab facility to gain some strength. I chose CareOne in Moorestown because my insurance would cover most of the cost. So, I got my discharge papers on Saturday, November 2 and was advised that I would be moved between 3pm and 7pm. At 7pm, I was told the transportation was running late. When they finally came, it was close to 9pm. I arrived at the facility to locked doors, and it was cold at 11pm. I only had a hoodie and no coat. Finally, an employee saw that we were trying to get in and unlocked the door. I thought this was a bad sign. The 2nd bad sign was the main elevator was not working, and I had to be wheeled down a back hall to the utility elevator. Good Grief!!! I was so tired when I finally got to my room. And this is where it gets weird. The night manager was not a nice lady. I was just getting settled. She wanted to check my skin, and my feet, and believe it or not ... count my stiches/staples!!! I put my foot down at that and said NO!!! I finally got ready for bed and fell asleep. Thank goodness it was time change weekend, and I got an extra hour.
The food was lousy, the care was minimal, and the facility needed a makeover. Thank goodness, I wasn't going to be there forever!!! I was able to do some physical therapy. That was fairly good. On the second morning I was there, I was just waking up when the nasty, night manager comes into my area with a huge flashlight and again, wanting to count my stitches/staples. Again, I said NO!!! I don't think she was too happy with me. Then on Thursday morning while I was taking care of my bags, I noticed that one of them was full of blood. This was not normal. I called for the nurse, and it was decided that I should return back to Cooper Hospital. They called 911, and I was transported back to the hospital by the fabulous Moorestown EMS. Once at the hospital, I was wheeled into a room where they worked to stop the bleeding. One of the nurses commented that it looked like I had been stabbed because there was so much blood!!! Finally, someone from the colorectal team arrived and put a few extra stiches around my stoma and that stopped the bleeding. They also took out the staples. I was then transferred to a "room." It was more like a box with no windows and barely a bathroom.
It was determined that I lost so much blood that I would need a transfusion. So, I was given 2 bags of blood and that helped my hemoglobin numbers rebound. I couldn't believe that they transferred me the last night I was in the hospital. Thankfully, I was released the next morning, and my friends came to pick me up and take me home. FREEDOM!!!
After many, many days in the hospital, I can truly say, "There's no place like home!" While I was in the hospital, I had a small army of "family" move my bedroom to the first floor. Even my bff from Germany flew in to take care of me the first week I was home. So many blessings!!! The first weeks were hard. Doctor's appointments, trying to eat right, resting, mourning, dealing with house things and making plans to bury my father.
We had a small, graveside service on Friday, November 15. It was attended by some long-time friends of my father and some "family." Janet was able to attend, and it was a beautiful, sunny day. I knew that's what he wanted.
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| Dad loved his Model RR. This reminded me of him! |
The following week, we had to move my sister from her current rehab facility to a new facility. My bff and I went to look at a one after a doctor's appointment and decided that this would be the best. Plus, they had availability! They also have 2-bedroom apartments so that I can eventually move in with her. So, she was moved to Spring Hills in Cherry Hill. So far, it's been a fairly positive experience.
All too soon, my bff from Germany had to go back home and family went back to Georgia. I was getting some PT and a visiting nurse to check up on me, but I was still very weak and trying to deal with everything, especially since I was now executor of my father's estate. The rest of November was filled with doctor appointments and trying to get some rest. It was also great that another long-time friend from high school came to visit her Mom in the same town, but she was able to spend a lot of time with me. We didn't do much, but we sure laughed a lot. And they say, "Laughter is the best medicine!" Too soon, she had to return home. And after she returned home, she had her own medical issues. Then, I found out another friend also had medical issues. What was happening to all my friend's??? Just makes me pray harder!!!
During several weeks of December, I usually felt so nauseous that I was barely eating. And you know what happens when you don't eat ... you lose massive amounts of weight. I really noticed that I had lost a significant amount of weight when it hurt to sleep on my side. My knees were knocking!!! YIKES!!! As much as I tried to eat more, same results. I was so tired of throwing up and not finding a reason. All I did was take anti-nausea meds.
Christmas came and went. It was a different year. I had dinner at a friend's home with her family. It was a lot of fun, the food was good, and the fellowship was excellent.
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| Christmas dinner table |
All the while, my poor little body was having some other problems as well. And this is where it gets a little sad. When I went to my kidney doctor appointment, I knew my numbers weren't good. In fact, they had gone higher which means my kidneys are slowly shutting down. Unfortunately, right now, I am too thin and have low blood pressure which means I am not a candidate for dialysis. And as a cancer patient, no transplant either.
All this being said, they are running out of options for me. Therefore, I choose to start with Palliative Care to help start managing some of my more annoying systems. I met with the doctor on Thursday, January 30 and discussed my eating and nausea. She prescribed some different meds and we'll see how it goes.
I am also beginning, 10 rounds of radiation on Monday, February 3 (once a day, M-F) to deal with another lovely problem. It's always something!!!
Plus, I will probably be moving into a one-bedroom apartment in the same facility as my sister so that I can get the assistance I need. Too many balls in the air!!!
All this to say, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26. Friends, don't waste your life running after things of this world that will bring you only temporary satisfaction. There is so much more to a Christ-filled life. He is not a crutch. He came to earth to die for you and take away your sins!!! And we all sin!!! Every day!!!
Only By His Strength!
Sandy
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