In Christ Alone

Hello Dear Friends & Prayer Warriors -

I apologize for the long gap in posts, but the past 5 months have been some of the hardest months that I can remember.

It started on a November evening when my sister & I received the call that my Mom had been taken to the ER after a large dog knocked her down. We found out that she had broken her hip and needed a partial hip replacement. Surgery was successful and she was sent to a rehab facility for about a week. Unfortunately, she & Dad were unable to travel with us to visit family in Georgia for Thanksgiving. Not long after that, she was released from rehab due to her determination to walk again. During that time, we all worked together to do all the household chores that Mom was so good at doing. She came home and continued her steady progress of walking and finally doing the stairs to her sewing room on the second floor. Her first outing was Christmas Eve service. Life was basically back to normal.

December was a busy month with the Annual Dessert Cantata with my choir family. It was a blessed 4 nights of singing and celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Christmas was just the 4 of us. We were sad that some of our regular friends could not join us.

The day after Christmas was test day for me -- a CT scan and a mammogram. Mammogram was clear and I knew I would need to wait until January to find out the results of the  CaT scan. I had the rest of the week off and I was determined to do some house cleaning. The rest of the week went too fast. I didn't get as much done as I would have liked, but who does?

2018 arrived and my job became extremely busy. But on January 9, I had finally had my doctor's appointment. It was time to get the results. Two very good answers to prayer -- 1. spots smaller or gone and my CA125 number had gone from 34 to 33!!! Praise the Lord!!!!!!!! Next appointment on February 20.

On Sunday, January 21, I flew to Birmingham, AL to work at the home office for a week with my team followed at the end of the week with our company's annual meeting. Since we all work from our homes, it's always nice to work with people. Although, I was glad when I came back home to my nice, quiet office. My flight home was delayed many, many times, but I finally made it home and was welcomed home by my family with one of my favorite meals. It certainly was good to be home!!!

Monday, January 29 was, of course, another busy day, but since my sister was teaching that evening, I was expected to have dinner with my parents. I remember chatting about the annual meeting, etc. and just hanging out for a bit and leaving their home about 9pm so I could get home before my sister. Just another normal evening, until ...

Around 8am the next morning, my cell phone rang. I saw it was my parent's number. It's my Dad. He's telling me Mom had fallen and they've taken her by ambulance to the hospital. I'm thinking something has happened to her hip. So by the time I call my manager to get coverage, put on my shoes, grab my keys, etc. and head over to pick up Dad, his neighbor, greets me and says, "She didn't look good." Praying, driving, praying, driving. I drop my Dad at the ER entrance and then look for a place to park and quickly walk back to the ER. We wait for what seemed like a long time, finally someone called for us to follow them. I remembered that hallway, when I was in the hospital for my emergency surgery. They showed us into a room, but Mom was not in there. What's going on??? After a few minutes, a doctor came in. I really don't remember much, but we were telling him about Mom's hip replacement and then he was talking about all they tried to do, but in the end, Mom went to meet Jesus. I think Dad & I were just in shock. This could not be happening!!! I don't remember much after that. They wanted to know if we wanted to see her body, but I remember telling them, that she wasn't there she was in heaven. Then I called my sister and had to tell her over the phone that Mom was gone.

The rest of that day, I called family & friends and cried my eyes out. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life. January 30, 2018 was the day our lives changed. My sister & I suddenly had to take over the responsibility of taking care of Dad. Although he can do his own laundry, pay the bills, take care of the outside of the house, cooking & cleaning are not in his wheelhouse! The next day, we met with the funeral director and made plans to bury her the following Monday with a small graveside service. We are thankful that many of Mom's cousins, some of our "family" from Georgia were here and some other family friends were able to be at the cemetery with us. Instead of a funeral, we decided to have a Celebration of Life service. After finally confirming the date, March 3, we spent the month of February planning the service and making sure all the details were covered.

If you missed her obituary, you can read it here: 
http://www.bradleystow.com/notices/Carolyn-Perry

In the midst of all this, I had another follow-up appointment on February 20. It was a good appointment and my CA125 went from 33 to 32. Down is a good thing. I was afraid that all the stress of Mom's passing would elevate my numbers, but God is good & the number went down.

Of course the day before the service, March 2, the weather turned nasty and several friends were unable to travel to the service. And I still had to write what I was going to say about Mom. I am grateful to the Lord that the words just flowed and I prayed that I could get through my part without bawling. Thanks be to God that I was able to speak clearly and lovingly about my Mom.

Thankfully, March 3 was a beautiful, sunny day. Thank you Jesus! The service included two anthems sung by the FAC Choir, scripture readings, a beautiful song by my "niece & nephew," reflections by my Dad and myself, and a message by one of our pastors. A reception followed at our church's Kingdom Cafe. As much as I wished that this didn't happen, my mantra was Mom was fondly remembered and God was glorified.

The rest of March was a blur between the weather, being extremely busy at work, trying to find a new normal routine, attending Bible Study, choir rehearsals, quilt guild meetings, and helping Dad deal with all the paperwork that you need to deal with when a loved one dies, and trying to deal with my own grief, it was probably one of the lowest points in my life. If I didn't have Jesus, I would need to be treated for depression. But these thoughts keep me going and keep me focused ... Would it have been better a day later? A week? A month? A year? Five years??? NO!!! She is the lucky one. She is in heaven. She is in His presence. She is glorifying Him. She is dining at His table. She is walking the streets of gold and living in the mansion that was readied especially for her. Until the day I can see Jesus face to face, I will miss her with every fiber of my being, but I know that nothing in my life happens without being filtered through the loving hands of my Lord. And everytime I question why, the answer comes ... for my good and His glory!!!

April also flew by with Easter, my Dad's birthday, jury duty, our quilt guild's spring retreat, plus many of the normal weekly activities. I think we are finally getting into a good groove. 

On April 17, I again had a follow-up visit. Although my CA125 went from 32 to 33, my doctor did not seem too concerned and my next appointment is on June 5. Otherwise, I feel great, but I need to find time and desire to get back to the gym.

Well, that's all she wrote ... for now. I'll be back soon with my long overdue "word" for 2018. I thank you for your continued prayers, encouragement, hugs, texts, emails, and Facebook posts. I continue to covet your prayers for my family and my health. 

This song by Tauren Wells has been an encouragement to me over the past months. I hope you will find it encouraging, too.

Only by His strength,

Sandy