Circling

If you've traveled by plane, you've probably experienced the inevitable delayed landing. The pilot circles the surrounding area until the tower gives your plane permission to land or you run out of fuel (hopefully not)!!! I remember one time when my sister and I were traveling to London and we had to circle for what seemed like forever. The fun thing was we got to watch where we were on the screen in the seat in front of us. Finally, we landed and our vacation could begin.

Well, such is my life. I'm circling. Waiting. Wondering. 

My follow-up oncologist appointment was on Thursday, April 7. I had read my CT scan report and in my opinion, it looked good. I had also received my blood test results and my CA-125 only went down 3 points. Not what I was hoping for, but .... I kept praying! The doctor came in and we discussed the CT scan & the blood test results. She was mostly happy with the CT scan results and she didn't really emphasize the CA-125 results. Her conclusion was that she wanted to bring my case to the "tumor board" in 2 weeks. She indicated that the decision could go 3 ways -- 3 more rounds of chemo, hormone therapy, or start on a PARP inhibitor. PARP inhibitors are a type of cancer drug. PARP stands for poly adenosine diphosphate-ribose polymerase, a type of enzyme that helps repair DNA damage in cells. PARP inhibitors work by preventing cancer cells from repairing, allowing them to die. These drugs are a type of targeted therapy. They target cancer cells and mostly avoid affecting healthy cells. I really didn't get a feel as to how she felt, but I did let her know that I really did not want to do more chemo!!!

I love these verses from Isaiah 40, verses 28-31:

28 

"Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

Waiting is a part of life. We wait in lines. We wait in traffic. We wait for our favorite show to start a new season.  We wait at restaurants for our food to be served. We wait for a phone call. We wait for test results. We wait to see a doctor. It seems like we spend a lot of time waiting, but scripture reminds us that how we wait is important. If while we wait, we spend that time worrying, doubting and fearful. We'll end up with a bunch of negativity. BUT, if we wait for the Lord and focus on Him, we will experience, joy, peace and contentment. We may even run!!! And I would certainly love not to be weary all the time. 

In looking for another song, I came across this song by The Afters aptly titled "I Will Fear No More." Pay attention to the lyrics it really hit me that this is where I am right now. I pray that you will also "fear no more!"

Prayer Request:

Please keep me in your prayers as I wait for the doctor to call in a couple of weeks and that I will keep my focus on the Lord in all things.

Only by His strength,

Sandy