Started July 17
Last week (July 10-16) started off with a great message at church followed by a relaxing afternoon napping and watching baseball. On Monday, I logged in to work and had a fairly good day. And thanks so much for the prayers for me going back to work. So far, so good!!! After saying prayers about my Tuesday morning blood work, I fell asleep knowing God's got this!!! Tuesday's blood draw was a 2-arm morning, but she finally found a vein, and all was good. The rest of the day went fairly well. After a blood draw, I usually get the results in my portal the next morning about 8am. Wednesday was no exception. I logged in to my portal. My hemoglobin, hemocrit, and platelet numbers were good. I scrolled down. NO!!!!!!!!! My CA-125 had taken another HUGE jump in the wrong direction. It went from 126 to 210!!! Tears flowed. And for that day, I cried. And I cried out to God ... "What's going on?!?!?!" "Is this drug not working???" "Is my cancer growing instead???" "Lord, I don't want to do more chemo!!!"
The Lord certainly heard my cries of despair and anguish!!!
Thankfully, I was off on that Thursday & Friday because I was attending, She Speaks 2022 Online. This is a wonderful conference for content creators. The morning session by Lysa TerKeurst was fabulous. I'm going to have to listen to it again, but some of the little gems she spoke were, "Don't just digest, but ingest His Word." "Where there is chaos (sin), there is a lack of balance." Her talk was on how we all need boundaries and that boundaries are God's idea. The other speakers that I heard that day were awesome as well. In fact, I'm going to listen to all of the speakers again and again!!!
By afternoon, my heart & soul was filled with worship, and I wasn't anxious about my appointment. Finally, the doctor arrived, and we discussed my numbers. She was disappointed as well that my CA-125 hadn't started to go down. She advised that "sometimes" it can take 3 months!!! We also discussed some side effects that had started to bother me. One side effect that was especially bothering me ... I was over emotional. I would cry at the stupidest things or be annoyed by the weirdest things or mad at everything. She suggested that maybe I should speak to someone. We said our good-byes and see ya next month. I drove home and shared what happened with my sister. Over the next couple of days, I prayed about seeking help. I had to ask the nurse a question and advised her of my chat with the doctor. She advised that MDA has counselors that I can see. Best part is... as a patient, you're entitled to 8 visits!!! The counselor, I'll call her Ms. N., called me and we set a time to meet in person.
The day finally came and I met her at MDA. We chatted for about 45 minutes. She is also a cancer survivor, so she understands cancer patients. She said several things in a way that I hadn't ever heard before. One was that when you hear those words, "You have cancer," you experience loss. Loss of your freedom and lifestyle and health. That was eye-opening to me. I never considered all the things that I've "lost." I always try to look on the bright side. Keep my eyes on Jesus!!! Another thing Ms. N told me was that she's talked to several other women who are on Zejula and they have/had similar issues. I was grateful to hear that. I really thought I was losing it!!!
Then, she gave me a fabulous suggestion!!! She challenged me to take 15 minutes each day to do something I enjoyed. Something just for me. This is not a time to do the dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. This would be a time to do a hobby, go for a walk, take a nap, listen to music, read, or anything that would take my mind off my "problems" and put me in a better state of mind. I can't say that I've done it every day, but I'm trying!!! Then I got to thinking, (oh no!!!), that what if everyone took at least 15 minutes a day to pursue something they enjoy. I think there would be a lot less stress and anxiety in the world!!! I challenge you. Start today. I'm calling it..... My 15 minutes of joy!!! (And maybe there's a book in that thought, as well.) Who knows what God is going to do with it!!!
Over the past couple of weeks, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 keeps popping into my mind. Here it is from ESV:
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
With all the crazy side effects that I've been experiencing over the past several weeks, I think God is trying to say, "It's just for a 'time.'" "I've got you!" "I hear you!" And best of all, "I love you and care about what you are going through." And it's with His peace, I enter a week with my monthly blood test, a CT scan, and a doctor appointment knowing whatever the outcome, all will be okay.
I heard this song on K-LOVE radio during one of those nights where sleep was hard to find. It's sung by Katy Nichole & Big Daddy Weave. It's called "God Is In The Story." I especially love the chorus and the 2nd verse. Over these 8+ years, God is truly in MY story!!! I hope He's part of your story, too!!!
Tuesday, August 16 - 7:30am ET - Blood draw.
Tuesday, August 16 - 3:30pm ET - CT scan
Thursday, August 18 - 4:00pm ET - Doctor appointment
~~ Thank you for your prayers & encouragement. They get me through the hard times!!! ~~
Imagine a world where no woman ever loses her life to ovarian cancer.
Will you consider supporting me in the 2022 Together in Teal Run/Walk on September 10? Money raised supports the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition in their mission to provide early awareness, to provide resources so women with ovarian cancer can live extraordinary lives, to provide funding for research, and provide opportunities for people to become involved in the battle against ovarian cancer. Any amount you can give would be greatly appreciated. Here is the link to my page:
https://togetherinteal.donordrive.com/participant/Sandy_Perry
And remember:
September is OVARIAN CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!!!
Wear Teal!!!!
Only By His Strength,
Sandy
