Before my 2nd date, I knew I would start losing my hair. It's nasty. It's everywhere. It's disgusting!!! So, this time, I wanted to be in control. So, I borrowed clippers from a friend and shaved my head on Friday, April 17. I got it down to peach fuzz and as of writing this blog, I now have several bald spots. But hey, bald is beautiful!!!
Tuesday, April 21 started with anticipation for my 2nd date with Mr. Chemo. Because I had spoken with my oncologist's Advance Practice Nurse (APN) on Monday, I arrived early at MD Anderson. I was taken fairly quickly and was even able to choose where I wanted to sit and that doesn't happen ... ever!!! The sun was shining and it was going to be a great day! They came and checked my temperature, blood pressure, & pulse rate. Then my nurse, Danielle, came and introduced herself. She hooked me up. We had a few laughs. The pre-chemo drugs started flowing and more chairs started to fill.
 |
| My date - Mr. Chemo |
Soon the pre-chemo drugs were done and it was time to start me on the first chemo drug ... Taxol. I've had Taxol previously as part of the mix both times I've had chemo. During my first date, since it had been a while since I had Taxol, they slowed down the drip to make sure I didn't have any reaction. I had no problem. As Danielle was setting up the Taxol drip, she explained that we would start slow again and build up to "full strength." The drip started, she walked away, and within a few moments, I couldn't breath and my heart started pounding a million times a second. I couldn't even say, "HELP!" Thankfully, another nurse was close by and quickly turned off the drip. Within moments, I was on oxygen, and my blood pressure was checked. WOW had my BP spiked!!! Once I was finally breathing normally and my BP was back to normal, the girl next to me told me that my face was purple. And I tell you, purple is not a good skin color on me!!!
After giving me some more drugs to prevent a reaction, they started the Taxol again, but super, duper slow. And guess what? No reaction. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. So, I do what anyone in my position does ... take a nap!!! The rest of the day was fairly uneventful except the girl next to me suddenly asks if my name is Sandy. I said yes. Here she's been chatting with a girl I know from high school. In fact, she is a wonderful Christian who I know is praying for me. So now, I have a new Facebook friend, Marlene, who I definitely will be praying for as she battles her cancer. Unfortunately, we miss each other by a day for the next round.
Here are some of the window signs I could see from the infusion floor:
Many people think I am a warrior as I travel on this journey and the realities of living with Ovarian Cancer. If you know me, you would know I'm probably one of the most non-confrontational people. It's why I don't want to move up the ranks in management and I don't argue unless I know I'm 100% correct. In most cases, I'm more of a wimp!!! But thanks to Google, the dictionary and some Biblical research, I'm coming to understand what a warrior is, what a warrior does, and how to be a better warrior.
The dictionary defines warrior as, "1. a person engaged or experienced in warfare; soldier and 2. a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness." I guess I am engaged and experienced in the war ... against cancer. I was thrown into the fight in November 2013. As for vigor, courage, and aggressiveness... I will tell you that many days, I feel like the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz. And as for vigor and aggressiveness ... look for someone else!!! LOL!!!
When I Googled the question, "What makes a woman a warrior," the following answer was given from the Rebelle Society. "A feminine warrior is so because she's learnt to integrate her vulnerability as the source of her power. ... Her feminine nature is what makes her strong. Her service is in bringing the truth of her feminine soul to this world. She's a lover of life, a protector, and she carves new roads with her sword of truth." Although taken from a secular viewpoint, at the end, I see a very Biblical connection to Ephesians 6:10-20 written by Paul while in prison:
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak."
I remember going on a Youth Group retreat many, many, many years ago where we dissected this passage using the image of a Roman soldier, something Paul would have been very familiar. I think it is interesting that Paul puts the belt of truth first. For most of us, a belt is last. It's an accessory. Something we put on so our pants don't fall down or we want to use to make a fashion statement. However, a Roman soldier's belt was probably the most important part of his armor. His wide belt was tied around him in several places and had loops and places to hold much of his equipment. In fact, if his belt was not put on correctly, everything else would be off balance. This could potentially put him at risk during a battle. That's is why we must put God's truth from His Word in our hearts first. Every day!!! It's what holds us together. These days, there are so many lies and half-truths invading our society. Priscilla Shirer writes in her Armor of God Bible study, "The truth of God is what makes having faith in God worth it. Without truth, we have nothing solid to hang our shield of faith on. So knowing the truth of God and the truth about God as revealed in His Word is critical if we want to live out our faith responsibly, and experience the benefits of being protected by our shields."
So, we start with God's truth and build our armor and life on that foundation. Jesus even said in John 8:31-32, "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” I don't know about you, but the freedom I have in Christ is the absolute best thing ... ever!!!
Therefore, I am re-writing the female warrior statement above for all in the Lord's Army:
A warrior for the Lord is so because the source of their power is the Holy Spirit. Faith in Christ makes one strong. By following the His commandments found in His Word they will bring hope to the nations. A warrior of the Lord loves all people, protects all life, and falls to their knees in humility to present their requests to God Almighty. They pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness and they are a light in a dark world.
I've been wanting to use this song by Hannah Kerr for a while. It's called "Warrior."
Prayer Requests:
* Next blood work on May 7 - pray for lower CA125 and favorable other levels
* Next date with Mr. Chemo on May 12 - pray for no crazy reactions to the drugs
* Pray for my new friend, Marlene and her battle with cancer
* Pray for all the frontline medical personnel and all the essential workers
Only by His Strength,
Sandy
