Still the Same?

They say some things never change, but on the other hand, they say change is good. 

When it comes to my body and chemo, the first round really had me worried that I now would respond differently each time. I can honestly say, I'm experiencing ... Adventures in Chemo Land!!! 

Right before my last blog post, I attended my quilt guild's fall retreat. I had a great time seeing friends and sewing/quilting for a weekend away. My sister & I also took our business stuff and vended. After getting home and carrying all the stuff back in the house, the next day, my back was sore and I had developed a "rash." I thought, that was odd, but I was carrying boxes, a sewing machine, etc., so I put some "Icy Hot" on it and hoped it would go away. By the next day, the soreness had not gone away and my sister kept saying the rash looked worse. I went to Bible Study, stopped & ordered our Thanksgiving pie (by the way ... it was yummy), came home, had lunch and continued on with my list of things to do. By Wednesday, the bumps were getting bigger and more annoying!!! Finally, on Thursday night after choir rehearsal, I asked my nurse friend to take a look at the rash. She said she wasn't sure, but it looked like .... Shingles!!! 

The next morning I was on the phone shortly after 8am to see if I could get in to see my doctor. Unfortunately, she had no available appointments, but thankfully, I was able to get an appointment with another Cooper doctor that morning!!! Of course, that was the morning I had an appointment to shave my hair off and I had to take my Dad to get both his flu shot and his COVID booster (in 2 different places). I arrived at the doctor appointment and soon was called back to an exam room. Soon the doctor came in and looked at my rash and confirmed ... yes, you have Shingles!!! And of course the rash is on the same side as my huge bruise from when I passed out in the shower. She prescribed some medicine and I asked the important question, can I get them again? And, unfortunately, I can. Gosh, that made me jump for joy!!! Not really. I stopped by the drug store later in the day and picked up my 2 new drugs.  

Of course, I had 3 different activities planned for that Saturday, all in different directions and different places. However, due to the shingles and the "pain spikes", I only attended one of those activities. I laid pretty low the rest of the weekend, took my meds, and tried to rest. I watched lots of football, napped, ate, and napped some more!!! By Tuesday morning, I was more than ready to go to Bible Study. As I was driving, I prayed and asked God to relieve the "pain spikes" so that I could enjoy Bible Study. I know it sounds trivial, but God heard my prayer. Not only did I not have any "pain spikes" during Bible Study, but I didn't have another one. None. Zero. Zip. Nada!!! Praise the Lord!!!!! And yes, when chemo is over, I'm getting a Shingles shot. 

Then on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I went for my pre-chemo blood work. I thought my numbers would look better than after feasting on turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, etc. Because it's been so hard to find a vein in my elbow, I just give them my hand and that has worked out pretty good. I received the results back on the following Monday and PRAISE THE LORD ..... my CA-125 dropped from 210 to 138!!! That's 72 points lower!!! It still has a long way to go to get to "normal" or lower, but I'm on the way!!! And my platelets were higher!!! I don't know how that happened with chemo and the fall, but they were much higher. WooHoo!!!

Then I had my chemo follow-up on Tuesday morning. I got to see my Advance Practice Nurse (APN), Jacquie. We hadn't seen each other since March. During the exam, we laughed a lot, discussed movies, my numbers, etc. and spending Christmas day in pajamas. I then headed up to see Mr. Chemo and spend a long day in the chair. By the time they hook you up, give you the pre-meds, I'm ready for a nap!!! And because I've had a reaction to Carboplatin in the past, they check my vitals every hour. I'm usually one of the first people in a chair in the morning and I'm one of the last to leave in the evening. My nurses Jenn & Jalpa were great. Finally, it was time to be unhooked and go home. The one good thing is that they leave my port access in and just tape it up so I they don't have to poke me again the next day. 

My Tuesday view

Wednesday was a later start time, so one of my bff's was able to take me. I checked in and took a seat in the waiting area waiting to be called back. I watched people come, get called back, more people came, and got called back, but not me. After a while, I wondered, did they forget me? I mean, I was sitting almost in front of them!!! Finally, I asked one of the check-in girls, did you forget me??? Within a few minutes, they came to get me and they took me to a PRIVATE ROOM!!! I had requested my Tuesday nurse, Jenn, and sure enough, she was my nurse for Wednesday, too!!! She took my vitals, got me hooked up to Mr. Chemo and what did I do??? If you guessed took a nap, you'd be wrong!!! I actually ate lunch, and believe it or not, I brought a quilting project to cut out. (see pictures) I didn't get it all cut out, but I made good progress!!! Again, I was one of the last people to leave the floor. 

The days after chemo are what I fondly call "slug days." I have little to no energy to much of anything. My mind is foggy and my body just wants to stay in one place. Usually, I don't have much appetite and sometimes food doesn't taste very good either. This past time, food tasted fairly good. And since I don't do much during the day, sleeping at night is a problem. The only thing that seems to help is listening to someone read Scripture on a video on YouTube. It's a horrible cycle and only time can correct the imbalance. However, once the nasty chemicals are "flushed" from my system, it's like night and day. I still get tired easily, but at least I have energy to do things around the house and to write!!!

Over the past month or so, I have heard some incredible teaching from the Bible. I'm going to try and keep it short & sweet, but God's words are so powerful. 

I was able to jump in on Tuesday morning Bible Study. They were doing an overview of the entire Bible called "The Story of Scripture." Quite a feat in only 13 weeks! By the time I was able to attend, they were at the end of the Old Testament. The next lesson was not the start of the New Testament, but what scholars call The Intertestamental Period or The Silent Years. This was 430 years where God's people did not hear from God. But as we learned, God was still working during those years. If you studied that time period, you would be amazed at what transpired. Little did God's people know, He was still in control and preparing the world for the arrival of His Son, Jesus Christ. In all my years in church, I don't think I had ever heard such a concise and understandable lesson about this time period and the significance of it in the history of the church. It strengthened my faith to know that even when I think God is silent in my life, He is still in control. He is still working. And He still hears my prayers. 

The other Bible teaching is from my pastor, Seth McCoy. For advent, he is taking a character from the Christmas story and looking at that person with perhaps, a different perspective. The first Sunday of December, we studied Zechariah from Luke 1:5-25. I think the part of the message that got to me is to never stop praying and believing that God will answer. Zechariah & Elizabeth prayed many years for a child and had probably given up hope, but God answered when they least expected it. In fact, because Zechariah didn't believe the angel Gabriel, God silenced him until his son was born. 

Last Sunday, we looked at John the Baptist from the passage in Luke 1:39-66. John was the son that Zechariah & Elizabeth had been faithfully praying. This passage tells about the visit of Mary to her cousin, Elizabeth. Mary was newly pregnant with Jesus and Elizabeth was in her 6th month. Luke tells us in the first part of verse 41, "And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb." At those words, I stopped to ponder, do I "leap" for joy when I see a brother or sister in Christ? Do I "leap" for joy when I hear what God is doing in someone's life? Do I shout praises to God for what He has done? Or has this current life that I live with COVID protocols, chemotherapy, and dealing with NJ disability claim cause me to become passive with others blessings? I pray that I would rejoice always - through the good, the bad, and the ugly. I pray that you can, too!!!

So, to wrap up:

God is always in control. 
God is always listening to our prayers. 
God is always answering our prayers and sometimes it takes a while. 
God is always waiting to hear our praises in all things and in all situations. 

I recently started hearing this song from Sanctus Real on Christian radio. It's called "My God Is Still The Same." The words remind me of the Bible teaching I've heard over the past month. I pray that you will be blessed as you listen. 

From me & my family, I wish you & yours a very, Merry Christmas & a Blessed New Year!!! 

Joy to the world ... the Lord is come!!!

Prayer Requests:

December 21 - Pre-chemo blood work - pray for a lower CA-125 & good platelet number

December 28 & 29 - Follow-up exam (Tues.) and Round #3 (Tues. & Wed.)

Only by His Strength,

Sandy

And Round One goes to ...

After my last blog post, I thought I would begin chemo in early October, but God had other plans. Little did I know that my health insurance and MD Anderson (MDA) would haggle for several weeks over dollars and cents and other medical stuff that I may never know. All I do know is that I finally was scheduled for my two days of chemo on November 3 & 4. In the meantime, I received my Covid booster shot, cortisone shots in both knees, and I had more blood drawn. Unfortunately, my CA-125 went up to 210!!! YIKES!!!

Since I was filing for disability, my "last day of work for awhile" was October 29. I was blown away that my team held a "special" team meeting to say good-bye and wish me well. I was touched and moved to tears. It's times like these when you realize that family is not just the people who share the same DNA, but the people you work, worship, and walk with through life. I am truly blessed to have family in all those categories.

After two days of getting things done around the house in preparation for the "yucky" days, it was finally time to deal with Mr. Chemo again. My sister dropped me off before 8am at MDA and I headed to the infusion floor armed with things to do while sitting for 6-7 hours. Day One was the slooooow infusion of Carboplatin. The day before chemo, you take steroids to pump you up, then when you get there, they pump you full of things to relax you before the actual drug pumps through you. Up & down, up & down. Geez!!! Since I was so relaxed, I settled in, put on some music and took a nice nap!!! Next thing I knew, I was time to eat my lunch! After lunch, I watched some TV and soon, Day One was over. So much for getting something done!!! Day Two was much the same only this time, a slooooow infusion of Taxol. I was done much sooner than anticipated. As always, the nurses are super nice and friendly. 

In previous rounds of chemo, by the day after, food starts tasting blah, especially dairy products. Therefore, I eat bland foods like chicken noodle soup and jelly sandwiches. This time, food tasted okay, but I didn't really have an appetite. I just ate smaller portions because I knew I needed the nutrition. On Saturday morning, I had a big muffin and a cup of tea. I decided I felt good enough to take a shower. I got my stuff together and headed for the bathroom. I got in, shampooed my hair and started cleaning my body when all of a sudden, I felt extremely light-headed. I grabbed the handle where the soap sits and thought "dear Lord help me." The next thing I knew, I was at the bottom of the tub with the water running. After I realized what happened, I turned off the water and made sure I could move my arms and legs. Thankful that I did not hit my head!!! After maneuvering my body around so that I was on my hands and knees, I turned the water back on and finished rinsing. I slowly got up and got out of the shower. I sat on the toilet seat with my head between my knees for several minutes. When I finally felt better, I headed to my room wrapped in a towel. I laid down and asked my sister to check me for blood. Again, so thankful that I was not bleeding, but she did notice I had two large bruises - one on my side and one on my leg. So... I just took it easy for the rest of the day. And I ate more food!!!

The next few days, I made sure to eat and get plenty of rest. Thankful again for an extra hour due to the end of daylight savings. Since feeling better, I've attended Bible study, a high school play, my quilt guild's weekend retreat, and Family Missions Night. 

I started a First 5 study on Joshua a couple of days before chemo. One verse that jumped out to me was Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” It was exactly what I need to read before starting chemo ... again. In fact, I have part of that verse on my bulletin board above my desk. It's comforting to know that whether your sitting in a chemo chair, at a desk at work, a driver's seat, a wheelchair, or a recliner, that the Lord is with you!!! Knowing that He's with me gives me strength and courage to face anything that comes my way. I pray that you have that same assurance.

I love this song by Dante Bowe called "Joyful." I makes me smile and reminds me that "This is the day that the Lord has made!" I hope it makes you smile, too!!!

May you & your family celebrate a blessed & happy Thanksgiving!!! Remember, that even though there is still so much unrest and discontent, we each have so much to be thankful for this year. Count your blessings!!!

And as a side note, Saturday, November 20 marks 8 years since the surgery that changed my life. It's been a journey, but God has been with me every step of the way and he'll continue to be with me every step of the way.

Prayer Requests:

- Blood work - Wednesday, November 24 - pray for lower CA-125

- Appointment & Chemo #2 - Tuesday, November 30 & Wednesday, December 1

- Pray for the days after chemo that I would eat enough to keep my strength and that the food will taste good!!!

Only by His Strength,

Sandy

Let's Get Ready to Rumble!

As the iconic Michael Buffer steps to the middle of the ring and holds the microphone at a boxing match or pro-wrestling match, you immediately know the first words from his mouth with be, "Let's get ready to rumble!!!" Those words have become a part of pop culture and are used frequently.

But, can you imagine .... The Israelite army shouting those words to their enemies??? In most battles, I'd like to think they relied on God more than their own strength to win each battle and secure the Promised Land for future generations. Just like we should rely on God more than our own strength and wisdom to win our battles - large or small!!!

Since my last doctor appointment and CT scan at the end of July, it was a long month of waiting and wondering what was going on in my body. I finally received word that another CT scan was approved by my health insurance and I could now schedule the scan. On Friday, September 17, I went to get the scan in the afternoon and then had to wait until Thursday, September 23 to get the results. Since they didn't call that afternoon, I figured they didn't see anything horrendously bad, but I still had this horrible feeling that I would be needing to go to the hospital to get that left pleural effusion drained.

Finally, Thursday came!!! I had my family doctor appointment in the morning. Everything was "normal" as normal can be for me!!! LOL!!! Although, she did put me on some blood pressure med because my BP tends to be a little on the high side. She renewed my other prescription and I got a flu shot. She also told me that she didn't think my pleural effusion was big enough to drain. WooHoo!!! She even showed me the CT scan of my lungs. WOW!!! Now to go home get some lunch and pray & prepare for my afternoon oncology appointment.

After waiting in the exam room, I was first "interviewed" by a medical student. He asked a LOT of questions and then listened to my heart & lungs. He couldn't even hear the pleural effusion!!! Then the doctor came in and talked to me about the CT scan, how my CA-125 went from 71 to 127, and her meeting with the tumor board. At the end it came down to ... 6 more rounds of chemo!!! She confirmed that the pleural effusion wasn't big enough to drain and the lymph nodes weren't big enough to biopsy. We are hopeful that chemo will knock these things out of me for a good long time!!! So .... I'm ready to rumble with my 4th Recurrence of this silent killer. 

Again, I'm waiting on insurance to approval my chemo treatments. Then, we can figure out a starting date with Mr. Chemo. I will also be taking disability from work during treatments

In the meantime, I would appreciate your prayers as I do battle with this cancer again.

I'll update again when I have a starting date.

This song is soooooo good. Sung in this video by the amazing CeCe Winans. It's "Never Lost." I know that someday, I may lose this battle with cancer, but HE will NEVER lose. And as Paul states in Philippians 1:21, "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

Prayer Requests:

• For strength & energy to keep my body strong & healthy while getting chemo.
• That my body will tolerate a slightly different mix of chemo drugs and that I will not have any allergic reactions.
• For my family as they are again thrust into the caregiver role.
• That I would be a shining light for Jesus wherever I go.

Only by His Strength,

Sandy

Go For the Gold

Note: Started writing this about 2 weeks ago!!!

Except for this past year, every 4 years athletes from around the world gather to compete in both winter & summer sports. They have spent countless hours training to have that one or two moments of competition. When finished their event, they hope to be standing atop the podium as a gold medal is placed around their neck. However, most competitors at the Olympics will never have that feeling of winning the gold, but they all say just being there was worth everything. 

If you know me at all, I love most sports. In my younger years, I played a bit of softball, a bit of field hockey, but my biggest disaster was gymnastics. An armchair athlete is all I'll ever be and I'm fine with that. Although right now, I'm running a different race. A race that is mentioned in the Bible in Hebrews 12:1-2, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

During the week of July 19, I ran through another round of blood tests, a CT scan, and finally, my doctor appointment. While many scenarios played through my mind, I tried to keep my focus on the things above. Sometimes it was easy, and other times, not so much. Especially when I received my blood test results while drinking the yucky contrast before my CT scan. Oh no!!! They went up from 56 to 71. This can't be happening again!!! It's too soon!!! Soon, I was called back to have the scan done. Then, I was back home and back to work - numbers temporarily forgotten. Thankfully, work has been fairly busy and I don't have much time during the day to think on these things. 

Finally, Thursday afternoon came and I was off to MD Anderson to find out what all the results were and what did all that mean to me. As I waited for the doctor, and waited, and waited, I just read, prayed, and sang in my head. I may not remember all the words to songs, but usually one or two lines of a song are on constant repeat. Music always calms my heart and spirit. 

When my doctor finally came into the exam room, she sat down and after initial greetings, she sat down and started going over my test results. Because at our last appointment she didn't have all my CA-125 results from the beginning, I had charted everything and printed out a copy for her. I think she was impressed!!! She was concerned that my CA-125 numbers had taken another big jump, but she then went over my CT scan results. Apparently, some of my pelvic lymph nodes have decided they wanted in on the action and have started growing a little bit. As the doctor stated, not enough to be considered "enlarged," but in my opinion, any growth is not good. She indicated that at some point we will need to do a biopsy and determine if it is high grade serous or low grade serous. Apparently, I have both. I don't know if this is fairly common or fairly rare, but knowing what is making these nodes grow will determine how I am treated moving forward. She also said that according to the CT scan, I have a small pleural effusion. This time on my left lung. Oh goody!!! 

Although I know the doctors at MD Anderson regularly discuss cases, she told me that she would be bringing my case to the meeting and they would discuss the next best steps. I couldn't ask for more. I just need to be patient because they only meet about every 3-4 weeks. I do know in early September I will probably have another CT scan and more blood work. So, in the mean time, I'll try to enjoy some summer activities and put numbers and scans in the back of my mind. 

The dictionary defines endurance as "the ability or strength to continue or last ..." When I think of endurance, I think of triathlon or ultra marathon participants. These athletes spend hours and hours training to swim, bike and run miles and miles and miles. Some do it for the rush and some do it to win a race.

The Bible defines endurance a little bit differently. In Romans 5:1-5, "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." One thing I know is that through this journey, I may sometimes shed tears, but I still have joy. I may sometimes be anxious, but I still have peace. I may sometimes feel this situation is hopeless, but I still have hope. I know that whatever I'm "enduring" is for my good & His glory!!!

We all endure different struggles in our lives - physical, emotional, relational, financial, and spiritual. How you think of these struggles is the key. It also depends who your "Coach" is while you "endure." My "Coach" is Jesus Christ. He walked this earth over 2,000 years ago and endured so much in his short life, even death on a cross!!! But because He endured and WON, I have complete faith and trust that He will be with me every step of this journey - good or bad. The world wants you to put your faith in yourself, but you can't do it alone. Maybe it's time you get on God's Team!!! I love cheering for Team USA, but I know when my time on earth is done, I am getting the gold .... the streets of gold in heaven with Jesus, my Savior and Lord!!!

With all that's going on and the waiting and waiting for what's next. This song by Bethel Music sung by Kristene DiMarco has been one of those "on repeat" songs. I don't remember when it came out originally, but this was one of the worship songs during She Speaks Online 2021. I was and I still am blessed with the message of the song. I hope you are, too!!!

Also, I am again participating in The National Ovarian Cancer Coalition's (NOCC) Together in Teal - Everywhere as One from now thru the end of September. Due to the pandemic, the run/walk portion of the event has been postponed. However, they are encouraging everyone to walk/run at least 30 miles in honor of their 30th anniversary. I am going to attempt to do that, but with my work schedule, etc. I'm not sure if I will make it. BUT, I'd still love your support and your donation to help find a cure for Ovarian Cancer. I'm well on my way to my first goal, but I'm hoping to smash that and set a new goal. Here's the link to my fundraising page:

https://give.ovarian.org/participant/SANDRA-PERRY

Thanks in advance!!! ☺

Remember -- September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month!!! Think Teal!!!!!!!

Prayer Requests:

* Peace in the waiting

* Blood work on Thursday, September 9 @ 7:15am ET

* Doctor appointments on Thursday, September 23 @ 9:40am ET & 4:00pm ET

* Wisdom if decisions need to be made

* Prayers for healing for Bob, Marlene, & a young girl, Miss J. who is in the hospital

* Time & energy to walk for NOCC

Answered prayers:

* My friend Joy is now in the arms of Jesus

* My friend Michelle D. is out of the hospital from her long bout with COVID-19

Only by His Strength,

Sandy

Say What?

I'm going to keep it short & sweet.

Unfortunately, my CA-125 number went up ... a LOT!!! 

It's gone up before, but this time, it really got to me. I really had to lean in to my faith, my family, and my friends. I had my appointment with my new oncologist, Dr. K. She is wonderful. She wants me to get a CT scan and I have another appointment with her on July 22. I currently don't have an appointment for the CT scan, but I'll post on Facebook when it is scheduled. 

I'll post more later, but I'll leave you with this song that has been playing on repeat in my mind. It called "Promises" by Maverick City Music.

Prayer Requests:

A clear CT scan

More blood work - July 19 - 8am ET

Doctor appointment - July 22 - 4:15pm ET

Wisdom & words for Proverbs 31 Bible Study writing challenge on Leviticus 27 - due July 22

Only by His Strength,

Sandy

Jehovah Jireh

I apologize for the delay in writing, but God has been doing some amazing things in my life and I haven't had a free moment until now to sit down and tell you. Actually, it's taken several sit downs!!! LOL!!!

At the beginning of February, I had an appointment with my hematology doctor. After chatting for several minutes and an exam, we discussed if I even needed to remain on blood thinner since I was no longer in active treatment. We mutually decided that she would lower my dosage until my oncology appointment at the end of March. If all was good, I could finish whatever pills I had left and I would not need to get a refill and I would not need to see her again. 

On March 30, I had a follow-up oncology visit. I thought I might meet my new oncologist, but alas, my appointment was with J.M., the Advance Practice Nurse (APN). After the exam and going over the blood test results, she said the most fabulous words ..... "see you in 3 months." And, I actually made an appointment with the doctor who will be my new oncologist moving forward. My CA125 was up 4 points, but still well within "normal" range and I was advised that the elevated number could have been due to my 2nd Pfizer vaccination on March 18. After my appointment, I went up to the infusion floor to have my port "flushed" and then headed home. 

Fully vaccinated as of April 1, 2021!!!

Thank you Jehovah Jireh for good appointments. 
You provide me with continued good health and I no longer need to be on a blood thinner.

At the end of March, I was feeling very restless. I was still fighting with unemployment and I had no idea when my full-time job would call me back. Plus my bank account was getting smaller and smaller due to paying COBRA health insurance for almost a year!!! So, I decided to get a part-time job. I applied for and was hired by Instacart to do in-store grocery shopping at Wegman's in Cherry Hill. I did my in-store training on April 1 and I had my first shift on Friday, April 2. It was pretty easy as long as the store had the items on the shelves and it was very good exercise. Most days, I walked about 2 miles while pushing a sometimes very full cart. It was great getting paid to exercise!!! 

Thank you Jehovah Jireh for a part-time job. 
You provided me with some income to pay my bills.

On April 13, while riding with my sister on the way to Bible Study, my phone display lit up and a call was coming in from my employer's number. Interesting. When I answered, it was one of the managers who works with government accounts. She asked if I wanted my job back starting on Monday, April 19. YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After talking for a few minutes, and being late to Bible Study, all I can say is ....

Thank you Jehovah Jireh for restoring my full-time job. 
You provide me with increased income and have restored health & dental care and many other benefits. I'm so thankful that I no longer have to pay COBRA premiums!!!

If you'll remember, I have been fighting for my unemployment benefits since the end of June 2020. I was even working with a woman from my state representative's office. She sent emails and made calls for weeks and months. Finally, one afternoon in early April, I received a call from the NJ Department of Labor. The caller identified himself and advised that the reason I had not been paid was that I need a "back to work" note from my doctor after my short-term disability was over. Of course, no one ever would have thought of that since I was unemployed!!! Once I emailed a copy of that note from my doctor's office, ALL of my unemployment money was deposited in my bank account. Hallelujah!!!

Thank you Jehovah Jireh for resolving my issues with unemployment. 
You provided for me for many months without any income. 

At the end of January, I entered another writing challenge from Proverbs 31 Ministries. This challenge was on the topic of  SPREADING HOPE. They had several different categories from grief to health crisis to seasons of uncertainty. Of course, I felt led to write about hope in a health crisis. Only 30-45 devotions would be chosen. With the help of a friend in one of my  Ovarian Cancer groups on Facebook, I "tweaked" a previous blog post. I chose the one I wrote based on 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Unfortunately, my devotion was not chosen. 

Thank you Jehovah Jireh for always giving me words to write and encouragement from friends to keep writing. 

Through the Compel division of Proverbs 31 Ministries, you provide me with training and resources to continue writing for your glory. 

If you read through the Bible, Jehovah provided for his people many times over. But the greatest provision was the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ's death on the cross for our sins. He overcame death and rose from the grave and is now in heaven preparing a place for all those who believe. Do you believe???

This song by Cory Asbury talks about how God provides. It's called "Sparrows."

Prayer Requests:

* Friday, June 25 - next blood draw - same or lower CA-125

* Thursday, July 1 - meet new oncologist - good first meeting

* Pray for me - After over a year of not working, plus 9 chemo treatments, my memory of some of my job functions is a little fuzzy. It's slowly coming back, but pray I don't screw anyone's travel reservation up in the mean time!!!

* Pray for complete healing for my friend Michelle D. who has been in the hospital with COVID for many, many weeks. She finally "graduated" from ICU, but still has a long way to go.

* Pray for my friend Marlene D for the strength she needs to go through an intense chemo regime and for the treatments to work!

* Pray for my friend Joy E who was diagnosed last summer with brain cancer. Treatments don't seem to be working. She needs the prayers of God's people for wisdom & miraculous healing.

Thank you Jehovah Jireh for family and friends!!! Love & hugs to all!!!!!

First haircut after chemo by my friend Kim (in the mirror). April 17, 2021

Only by His Strength,

Sandy

How's Your Hope?

Ephesians 1:15-23

Key Verse:  Ephesians 1:18 “…having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,…”

Teaching:

I asked my Facebook friends this question – In 5 words or less, what do you HOPE for? I received many answers ranging from salvation for family and friends, spiritual revival, that their children would be happy, spiritual and world peace, be kind, good health, financial stability, and that Christians would be anti-racist, start speaking like Christ and stop promoting division in the church. As a cancer survivor, I hope for a cure.

In the Old Testament, one of the words for hope is “yakhal”. It means “to wait.” After 40 days and nights of rain, Noah and his family had to “yakhal” while the waters receded. (Gen 8:12) Job, after Satan had taken away his family, his possessions, and his health states, “Though he slay me, I will “yakhal” in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face…” (Job 13:15) In the book of Psalms, David and the other writers expound on “yakhal.” (Psalm 31, 33, 38, 42, 43, 69, 71, 119, 130, 131, 147) They wait for the Lord.

The prophet Micah, inspired by God, foretells the people of Israel of the coming of the great Shepherd. (Micah 5:1-5) In the final chapter of Micah, the prophet is complaining that there is no comfort to be found in family or friends. This need for comfort sends Micah to the only One who can provide that comfort. In Micah 7:7, he looks to the Lord and “yakhal” for the “God of my salvation.” Micah truly found his hope in the Lord.

As the New Testament begins, we find the Israelites still longing for deliverance; only this time from the Roman government. They remember that God saved them in the past, like their ancestors who were delivered through the Red Sea from the hands of the Egyptians. Biblical hope is about looking forward by first looking back. (Psalm 39:7)

As Paul is writing to the Christians in Ephesus, he is under house arrest in Rome and chained to a member of the Praetorian Guard. (Acts 28:30) At the time, this would seem like a hopeless situation. But Paul’s hope is not based on his situation.  He knows the Christians at Ephesus. He spent 3 years with them. (Acts 19-21) He is writing to encourage them in their walk -- just like he is encouraging us.

The Greek word for hope in verse 18 is “elpis.” It means a future hope, as in the return of Christ. Paul has already written about their faith and love (v. 15). Interesting that Paul wrote one of the most memorable verses about faith, hope, and love (1 Corinthians 13:13) while in Ephesus. Paul had also written to the Christians in Rome while in Ephesus and points out (Romans 8:24) that our “elpis” is Jesus Christ alone and to wait patiently for His return. (Romans 8:25) That is the “elpis” that he reminds the faithful at Ephesus of in v.18.

Paul also mentions in verse 18 that only the Holy Spirit can “open and enlighten” our hearts so we can understand the full blessings of God and that it is only by His grace that one can partake in the eternal riches of “his glorious inheritance” both here on earth and in heaven.

If Paul wrote hymns, he could have written this timeless one, “My Hope is Built on Nothing Less/Solid Rock.” Here is the first verse: “My hope (elpis) is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.”

My Moment: With all that is going on in the world, what are you putting your hope (elpis) in today?

Comment: I must admit, some days my hope fails. As a cancer survivor, it is often hard to look towards the future. You daily live with so much uncertainty. However, I look forward to seeing my Savior and walking the streets of gold with a cancer-free body. But for now, it is my responsibility to share that future hope (elpis) with my family, friends, and neighbors. Every day.

More Moments About Ephesians 1:15-23:

Throughout the New Testament, Paul conveys through his letters that he is always giving thanks for his readers and he is remembering them in his prayers. (v. 16) He is giving us a model to use today. First, he gives thanks to God and it probably wasn’t a quick three word prayer. He was thankful:

·         for their faith

·         for their love for the saints.

·         for their spiritual gifts

·         for their partnership in the gospel

·         for their mutual affection.

We, too, when heads are bowed should be thanking God for our church leaders and those who are in ministry locally, regionally, and globally.

The second part of verse 16 admonishes us to “remember” to pray for others. And how does Paul suggest that we pray?

·         with joy (Philippians 1:3-6)

·         not to be anxious (Philippians 4:6-7)

And what does Paul suggest that we pray for?

·         for full understanding (Philemon 5-7)

·         to abound in grace (Philippians 4:23)

·         that love would increase and overflow (1 Thess 3:13)

·         to be watchful (Colossians 4:24)

·         to fearlessly make know the mystery of the gospel (Ephesians 6:19-20)

These are just a few of the ways Paul teaches us what to pray for and how to pray because in verse 17, he wants the Spirit to reveal the deeper things of God.

Major Moment: Ephesians 1:15-23 – Paul prays and gives thanks

Perfect 20/20 Vision - My reflection of the past year

When 2020 started, everyone looked at the year and thought ... perfect vision. Even the annual meeting for the company I work for was titled, "Perfect Vision." At the end of January, my sister and I made settlement on our home and moved back with our father. Which was ...  Perfect!!!

Then March came and the world became very familiar with the words novel coronavirus or COVID-19. As the months dragged on, we realized that our January 1st vision filled with hopes, dreams and infinite possibilities, was now that of the walls of our homes, the faces of our family, and the computer or the television screen. Mask making, mask wearing, and mask etiquette were now commonplace. Zoom meetings became the only way to safely see your relatives and friends or meet with business associates. Toilet paper became a hot commodity along with Clorox wipes and baking supplies. Not that we didn't know, but nurses, doctors, and first responders were/are considered essential workers along with grocery store workers, truck drivers, waste management workers, and a whole host of others. 

What we should have seen coming but didn't was the intense reactions to the racial inequalities due to the horrific deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd -- just to name a few. 

We should have seen the political battle that was brewing and continues to divide many friends, families, neighborhoods, and churches, but we chose to see only what we want to see and hear what we want to hear! 

For me, 2020 was a year that I would not like to see again ... EVER!!! Through the 9 nights in the hospital, the 9 rounds of chemo, 2 intense allergic reactions, several CT scans, the endless blood work, and the numerous doctor appointments, the Lord was with me always and somehow, I was able to find joy through it all. It wasn't easy, especially during the days following chemo treatments, when I felt like a slug, but I tried and usually succeeded. 

At my last doctor visit on December 29, I received good news that my CA-125 had even gone down a little bit more. PTL!!! My doctor also gave me a choice ... do nothing and come back in 3 months or start on a maintenance drug called Zejula which has many, many side effects. I would also need to have blood work and a doctor visit once a month. After much prayer, research, and discussion with my family, I have decided not to take the drug. It was also a sad day. My oncologist's last day at MDA would be December 31. He has taken a new position that was closer to his home & family. I will miss him dearly, but wish him many blessings in his new position. I was truly blessed to have him as my oncologist for 7 years!!!

On top of all my medical issues, I saw my employment disappear at the beginning of April. And although I was able to collect short-term disability until mid-June, it has been a 6 month battle to fight for my unemployment benefits and I am still waiting to see my money. However, things are starting to look up!!! In fact, I have been in contact with a representative of the state who is assisting with my unemployment claim. I was also contacted by the HR department at my job to see if I was interested coming back, but to a different position. Again, after prayer and discussion with my family, I emailed back that I was indeed interested. Now, I'm just waiting for all the details.

In Matthew 6:33, it states, "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." What things??? The verses prior explain "what things." Verses 31-32 tell us, "Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all." Although unemployed and doing chemo, God took such good care of me. I didn't worry about food or drink or clothing or roof over my head or finances or my hair growing back or anything!!!

This song by Josh Baldwin has been playing on Christian radio over the past several months. When I listen to the words, I think, this could be my 2020 theme song. This line in the chorus gets me every time, "I see the evidence of Your goodness, All over my life." 

Goodness you say??? I know what you're thinking ... 2020 was a dumpster fire at best!!! The lock downs, the fear, the anxiety, working from home, students learning from home, protests, death of loved ones, hospitalizations, and the list could go on and on and on. BUT, I urge you to SEE the goodness of God all around you. Did you witness a beautiful sunrise or sunset, a blooming flower, a butterfly flitting by, a drive-by for a birthday, a wedding on Facebook live, a smile from a friend or neighbor??? Did you enjoy a cool breeze after a hot day, laughter, a hug or a chat with a loved one??? Those things plus many, many others are the goodness of God. I urge you dear readers, don't focus on the bad things of this world. Focus on the the kingdom of God!!! That's where you find true joy!!!

Prayer requests:

• Next blood work - March 25 - 7:30am ET
• Next Doctor appointment - March 30 - 1:00pm ET
• That my unemployment issue would be resolved quickly!!!

Only by His Strength,

Sandy

PS - I'll also be posting the Bible study I entered in the Proverbs 31/First 5 app on Friday, January 8. This would have been the day it would have been on the app if my entry had been chosen. ☺