What do you
do at 2 AM when you can’t sleep?? I pray. Last night there was no pain
involved, just an inability to fall asleep after snoozing a bit in front of the
TV. After reading a bit with no success,
I turned off the light and started to pray.
At first, I only
prayed for family and close friends, but still sleep did not find me. I guess
because I like to travel and at this point, it looks like I won’t be traveling
too much this year, I found myself traveling to the four corners of the world
in my mind. While traveling around the world, I prayed for my friends who are living
and serving the Lord around the world.
Last night, I
received the following stamps in my prayer passport – Japan, Ukraine, Iraq, Germany,
and South Africa. And the best part …. no jet lag!!!
My thoughts
and prayers then turned to my own corner of the world. I prayed for other
things like my church, requests from my choir family, and other needs that I
was aware of.
When I was
done praying, God allowed me to fall asleep.
Tonight, I’m
going to start earlier. I’m going to print a world map from my computer and I’m
going to put a dot on each country where I personally know people serving the
Lord. Then, I’m going to list all the other things that need prayer. And then, I'm going to put my jammies on, get into bed and travel the world in my prayers.
I want more
stamps in my prayer passport!!!
Do you have a
“prayer passport”??? Is it stamped regularly???
“Let the
words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O
Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
It was one week from my
first date with Mr. Chemo. I expected a call, a text, a Facebook message
telling me what a wonderful time he had on our date. I got nothing but pain in
my knee joints for more than two days. I’m really not complaining, if that’s
how he wants this relationship to play out, fine with me!!! Better than nausea,
neuropathy, or any of the other yucky side effects. I’m still holding on to my
blonde hair and keep praying that it will stay.
With the snow & bitter
cold temperatures in the northeast United States this past week, plus my leg
pain, I was stuck in the house for 3 days. Of course, my sister and I are
starting a business, so there are things to do with that, but still, I definitely
had cabin fever!! On Thursday night, I said to my sister, if I don’t get out of
the house tomorrow, I will go CRaZy!!!!
So, Friday morning I got up
and made Banana Oatmeal muffins from scratch. They were pretty tasty, if I do
say so myself. Then my sister and I got ready, cleared the snow off the car and
got out of the house for a mini road
trip. It felt so good to be out of the house!!! The sky was clear and a
beautiful blue, the sun was warm beating through the car windows, and I was
free from the four walls that had held me captive!!!!!
We traveled to a quilt store
that was closing to see if we could find any bargains. Success!!! Then we went
to IKEA to get some parts for some shelving units that we have. Success!!! We
stopped at my parent’s home and had a spot of tea and some fresh baked goodies.
I was dropped at home because I needed a nap, but unfortunately, my mind and my
prayers were for a friend who was going through his tenure meeting with the
Board of Trustees where he teaches. Who needed a nap anyway??? My sister
returned from the supermarket with dinner and the weekly supply of food. My
friend called and said the meeting went well and he’s 99.999999% sure he was
granted tenure. Success!!!! After dinner, we relaxed and watched a movie. All
in all a most successful day!!!!!!
It’s January 25. You can look
at it as 1 month since Christmas or 11 months until Christmas, but do you still
have that wonderful “Joy to the World” feeling?? Or has the joy of the season
left you???Many have heard the phrase,
“Keep Christ in Christmas,” but what if we really lived every minute in the
reality of that. I think the world would be a very different pIace. I don’t
know about you, but every day I try to honor and worship the King who came as baby,
lived as a man, died on a cross for my sins, and rose victoriously from the
grave!!! And I worship as the Casting Crowns song says,
“Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are.”
As Bob Cook from The King’s College would say as he
signed off from his radio program,
The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." I was raised in a wonderful, Christian home where God's love was practiced and encouraged. I truly believe that I would not be who I am without that love & support from my parents. I'm so glad that we are a close family. We travel together, we laugh together, and we hurt together. If you are a parent or have influence with children, you know how impressionable they are. They look up to you and try to model their lives to be like you. So what are you teaching them with both your words and your actions??? My best friend and her family serve the Lord in a foreign country. Their children consider me an Aunt and I am honored to have that title. Today, in the mail I received the following letter and bracelet from their 8-year-old daughter, Danielle.
Back side of letter.
The letter reads as follows (emphasis hers): Dear Aunt Sandy, I love you! I am praying for you! I made this friendship bracelet for you so you know I am praying for you! Love, Danielle Today, teach your children to pray, to serve, to love, to worship, and to obey. When they are old (like me), they will not depart from the truth of God's Word. Only by His Strength, Sandy PS - Knee pain is almost gone. It seems like it is a side-effect of Mr. Chemo. Ugh!!! Praise the Lord that everyday is a little better. Thanks so much for your prayers!!!!! God is good!!!!!!!
Approx. 7 pm
on Sunday evening, I started noticing some knee joint pain in both knees. About
the same level of pain as when my arthritis is bothering me. However, by the
time I crawled into bed at 10:30 pm, the pain was so much more intense!!! After
praying & singing for what felt like hours, I must have fallen asleep. But
at 2:30 am "ish", the searing pain woke me up. By 4 am the pain was starting
to subside. I must have fallen back to sleep because the next time I checked
the clock it read 6:30 am. Thank you Jesus!!!
Of course,
getting up and out of bed and walking across the bedroom floor was quite an exercise
in patience. I felt like I was in one of those slow motion movie scenes. I would have taken some OTC pain relievers, but I didn't want to
mess with Mr. Chemo. I also know that I must get myself going because I need to
go get my injection. After breakfast, JP Transportation took me back to MD
Anderson @ Cooper for my injection. The injection was no problem. I asked the
nurse about my knee problems and asked what I could take for the pain. She
advised that I could take whatever I usually take. Thank you Jesus!!!
After lunch,
I took some pain relievers and crawled back into bed. I slept and read most of
the afternoon. I still have some residual pain, but now I'm praying that with another dose of pain relievers, I can
get a good night of sleep.
For those
that prayed all day for me … thanks!!!! Please keep praying!!!!!
After my first date with Mr.
Chemo, he has thankfully left me alone for most of the weekend. After a fairly
good night of sleep on Friday night, I woke up feeling pretty good on Saturday
morning. I had a small breakfast, a mid-morning snack (banana), chilled out to
watch Lilo & Stitch, a bagel for
lunch, then decided that I felt good enough to go to church to sing, so I took
a shower, and got ready. I had time while my sister got ready that I could take
another nap. This time I really fell asleep. Of course I was watching a movie
that I’d already seen about 20 times. Then it was off to church to sing with my
choir family & lead worship. I had a snack of yummy raspberries &
blackberries on the way to church.
After the choir was done
singing, we stopped to grab a quick dinner to-go at Chick-fil-A. We came home
and ate dinner and I was in bed by 8:30 pm. I don’t think I have been in bed
this early in years!!! However, I did fall asleep while reading and woke up at
midnight with the light still on and my Nook lying on my stomach. Oh well. I
plugged in the Nook and shut off the lights and fell back to sleep until
morning.
Good Sunday Morning!!!
It was breakfast and getting
ready to go sing for our church’s two morning services. Thankfully, I was able
to take a little snooze in a quiet office during the first service so I would
have enough energy to get through the second service.
And all the prayers of God’s
people were heard regarding my first request from a few days ago. God answered
BIG!!! I am here to tell you that God does answer prayer and He is alive and He
cares about me and He cares about YOU!!!
This is how I felt while singing in church this weekend!!! All the music was so uplifting and encouraging!!!!
By Sunday afternoon, it was
finally time to relax and chill out. After brunch with my parents, I came home,
put on my sweats, and watched some football and took a nap.
Then it was back to my
parent’s home for dinner. I don't whether it’s the weather or the way I folded myself up on the coach, but my legs are a bit sore and my knees ache. I’m
trying to keep myself awake so that I can sleep all night. We'll see how that
goes!!
Tomorrow morning, I go to
get my Neulasta injection to keep my white blood cell count up to fight any
nasty infections that might try something funny in my body. Pray that I will
not have any side effects from this shot.
Also pray for the swelling
to go down from where my port was placed. It’s still a little tender and sore. I
definitely feel it when I move certain ways. It sometimes feels like if I touch
it, I’ll be able to communicate with someone, like on Star Trek. Wouldn't that
be awesome???
But hey, I don't need anything implanted in me to talk to God. I can just bow my head and talk to Him … anytime, anywhere, and about anything!!! And that’s so much better!!!!
My Mom & I arrived at the MD Anderson
@ Cooper facility at 9am for my first date with Mr. Chemo. I was escorted to
our meeting area where I was introduced to my matchmaker (nurse), Ann. She
explained the entire process and what would happen at each part of the date.
She got me hooked up to the IV through my port, easy peasy, and started me on
some pre-chemo drugs. Meanwhile, I snacked on my grapes, drank my water, and
surfed the net. Finally, at 11:30 am, it was time to introduce me to Mr. Chemo,
part 1. Taxol. This was a 3 hour drip into my body. It went very well and I
didn’t have any negative reactions. Yeah!!! I felt so bad though, I fell asleep
on my date. :( After that, at 2:30 pm, I was introduced to Mr. Chemo, part 2.
Carboplatin. This was only a 30 minute drip into my body. Again, no negative reactions!!!
Yeah me!!! Finally, Ann disconnected me from Mr. Chemo and the date was over.
All in all, so far, Mr. Chemo was a good date. He has asked to see me again on
February 11 after a visit with the doctor. I said, “Yes.”
Also while there, the nurse
gave me my blood test results and my CT scan results and all I can say is …
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!
My blood test results were good and the CT scan
showed ...
NO CANCER!! Yes, NO CANCER!!!!!
That means that these treatments are
truly just a preventative measure!!!!! I’ll need to go over all the results in
more detail with the doctor.
Mighty prayer warriors, you
are the BEST!!!! Thank you for daily bringing my health to the throne of the
Almighty God.
After arriving back home,
thanks to JP Transportation (my sister), I had a cup of tea, 2 Oreo cookies,
took a nap, and had dinner. Now it’s time to relax some more and try to get a
good night of sleep. And prayerfully, I’ll be singing with the choir tomorrow
night!!!
Today, I’m getting ready for
my first date with Mr. Chemo. I understand from friends that this will be a
very toxic relationship. He will probably do things to me that I do not like.
I’m going to see how it goes, but I have a feeling that after 6 “dates” with
Mr. Chemo, that I’m going to put an end to our “relationship.”
As for getting ready, I have
started to take my pre-chemo steroids (no, I’m not going to become the next
A-Rod) and my OTC vitamins to help prevent neuropathy (tingling of
extremities). I have my clothes laid out so I don’t have to think about what to
wear in the morning. In the morning, I'll eat a good breakfast & pack my lunch, snacks, and drinks.
Then it will be off with Mom to the MD Anderson at Cooper facility in Camden,
NJ for my start time of 9 am.
I have been anticipating
this day since December 17th when I received the diagnosis of ovarian cancer.
I’m not scared. I know that God goes before me and will hold my hand through
this entire adventure. I know that NOTHING happens to me that hasn’t been
allowed to happen to me. I know that in the words of a Chris Tomlin song, “the
God of angel armies is always by my side.”
Prayer Warriors - I have
several very specific requests for you right now and I’m sure there will be
more as this adventure continues.
1. The choir is singing this
weekend and I really want to sing. The world tells me that I will feel blah the
days after I’ve been on a date with Mr. Chemo. I know that this is possible,
but I also know that God is bigger and can take away the blah. Pray that I will
be able to worship with my choir family and church this weekend.
2. This is a little vain,
but I figure if I don’t ask, I won’t receive. Although I’ve resigned myself to
the fact that I will probably lose my blonde hair by the mid-February or
sooner, I will consider it a miracle if God allows me to keep my hair. As I
said to the choir last night, if God can part the Red Sea, surely He can keep
my hair on my head. If God chooses to say no to this request, I have heard that
my hair may come back in curly. Could be interesting!!!!
3. The cocktail that Mr.
Chemo is giving me tomorrow has been known to cause neuropathy. Neuropathy means
damage to nerves in the peripheral nervous system, and so affects nerves
outside of the brain and spinal cord - it does not include nerve damage in the
central nervous system. It’s that painful tingling of the hands & feet. I
am taking OTC vitamins to help prevent this, however, I would be blessed if it
never happened.
4. On Monday morning, I will
need to return to get my Neulasta injection. This is to help keep my white
blood cell count up because that cocktail Mr. Chemo is giving me will lower my
immune system and I need those white blood cells to keep me strong and prevent
sickness. The drug may also cause my bones to ache. Please pray for God’s hedge
of protection from illness around me over the next several months.
5. And this is the most
important one!!!! I think the video below says it all. “Let Them See You in Me”
by JJ Weeks Band. I want to show Christ’s love and share the hope that I have
with the staff and fellow patients. I want to be salt & light. If I’m
scared of anything, it’s that I won’t see His divine appointments for what they
are and blow an opportunity to share the Good News of Jesus Christ.
“By this all people will
know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35
ESV
By 10 am this morning, the NN called, left a message, and asked if, just for this week could I start chemo this Friday at 9 am. I checked with the family and called her back to say YES!! I will get the next treatment appointment on Friday, but let the chemo party begin!!!
And I thank all of you who continue to walk through this situation with me. We will get to the other side and then we'll party and celebrate all that God has done!!!! Only by His strength, Sandy
Just a quick request for prayer. Please pray that I will get my chemo schedule tomorrow (Monday, January 13). I really want to begin on this adventure and see where God is taking me. I know it sounds crazy, but God has known since the beginning of time that all this was going to happen to me. He also knows the outcome and I believe He is victorious over my cancer!!! Just like He was victorious over death!!! As soon as I know my treatment schedule, I'll post it here. Thanks in advance Prayer Warriors!!!! :)
How do I know God speaks to me??? Through His Word and through His people. Just yesterday I was talking on the phone to my friend. She asked if I was scared. I said I didn't think I was scared, just anxious about the unknown. Well, wouldn't you know that in my devotional reading this morning was all verses about PEACE!! And not the world's idea of peace through treaties and such, but that overwhelming knowledge that God has got you in the palm of his hand and everything is okay.
From his book "Power in the Promises," Nick Harrison states, "Anxiety is fear of the unknown. A major source of anxiety comes from not knowing what will happen next on the world stage or on the smaller pedestals of our lives. But we often forget that what is unknown to us is fully known to God. Rather than letting anxiety shape us, we can allow God’s faithfulness to mold us. He can be trusted in every anxious situation — whether it’s on the large stage of world events or, more likely, in the smaller anxieties that rob us of joy in our relationships, careers, and families."
He goes on to say, “Anxiety robs me of peace and undermines my faith. I will therefore obey God’s Word and not be anxious about anything. In every anxious situation, through prayer and thanksgiving, I will release my anxiety to God, exchanging it for His peace. He will still my every anxious thought.”
Thank you Lord for reminding me that you are in control of everything that have been through, am going through, and will face in the future.
As Hudson Taylor states, “I am no longer anxious about anything, as I realize the Lord is able to carry out His will, and His will is mine. It makes no matter where He places me, or how. That is rather for Him to consider than for me; for in the easiest positions He must give me His grace, and in the most difficult, His grace is sufficient.”
Are you anxious about something today??? A job or lack of a job??? A family crisis??? A relationship??? Cancer??? Give those worries to the One who knows you by name and loves you more than you will ever know and He will guide you and get you through.
I saw this on Patsy Clairmont's Facebook page this morning and thought I would share it. It's a good way to start every day!!!!
I'm still a little sore this morning, but I will choose JOY over whining and complaining today and every day!!!! How about you??? Only by His strength, Sandy
"Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously; let this be made known in all the earth." Isaiah 12:5 Mom & I arrived early at Cooper for my scheduled 8:15 am appointment this morning. Since Mom was going to hang out and wait for me, she was given one of those pager discs like you get at restaurants. I guess since it was day surgery, I was considered take out!!!! :) After finishing the check-in procedures, we were escorted up to the surgical floor where we met my prep nurse. After asking me what seemed like a bazillion questions, I changed into my hospital gown that was big enough for a linebacker for the Eagles!!!
Then I they got the IV started and I waited for the anesthesiologist and my doctor. They all came together along with an OR nurse and an anesthesiology intern. After my doctor & I discussed chemo treatment/scheduling, I answered a few more questions from the intern. When that was done, I received my "crown" or you might know them as a surgical cap. Such a fashion statement!!!
Off I was rolled into OR. After transferring to the operating table, the last thing I really remember was getting oxygen. When I woke up, they said everything went well and I was rolled into recovery. Again after this surgery, I had no pain. Yes, I was sore like someone had punched me in the shoulder, but as for pain, nothing!!! Praise the Lord!!!!!! :)
They came and did a chest x-ray. They tell you to relax, but they keep checking your vitals and asking you questions. Sooooo relaxing!!!! My doctor came by for a visit and told me everything went well with the placement of the port. Hooray!!! I kept the recovery nurse laughing so much that she named me the most wonderful patient of the day!!!!
I then was wheeled into the discharge area. This was great because I could finally get something to eat!!! It had been a loooong time since I'd eaten my breakfast before I went to bed last night. Apple juice & Oreo cookies never tasted so good!!! While eating, they called my Mom to come upstairs.
After Mom got there, they went over all the discharge info, etc. and let Mom go to get the car and bring it around to the front. After she left, they unhooked me from the IV and let me get back into my clothes. As I was changing, I realized my entire chest area was orange. WHAT!!! I'm an Oompa-Loompa!!!!! OH NO!!!!! After calming myself down, I realized it was just iodine and I would need a bit of a clean up. Whew!!!!
I was then wheel-chaired out to Mom's car and taken back to The Perryville Inn of Rest & Recuperation for the afternoon & dinner. After a lunch of chicken noodle soup and crackers & cheese, I nestled into the recliner for a wonderful 2 hour nap. I awoke refreshed and thanks to Janet, I had my laptop and could check email and what was going on in the world. Dinner was beef stew and homemade bread!!! YUM!!!!
I'm now back home and ready to call it a day. Hopefully, I find out my chemo schedule tomorrow. Please pray!!
Thank you so much for your prayers!!!! I kept humming/singing in recovery ... "God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, He's so good to me." And ain't that the truth!!!
Only by His strength, Sandy
Before having surgery, one should always go to Choir rehearsal. Before having surgery, one should always spend time praising the Lord in song. And that's exactly what I did and was I ever glad to worship with my choir family the night before I get the chemo port placed in my body. In rehearsing our songs for when we lead worship in a couple of weeks, the words to one of the songs just touched my heart. The words are by Martha & Daniel Munizzi.
Because of who You are I give You glory
Because of who You are I give You praise
Because of who You are
I will lift my voice and say
Lord I worship You because of who You are
Jehovah Jireh, my provider
Jehovah Nissi, Lord You reign in victory
Jehovah Shalom, my Prince of Peace
And I worship You because of who You are.
Because the Lord is all those things and so much more, I can face this great adventure not in fear, but in confidence in the healing power of the my Savior & Lord, Jesus Christ. And because of the power of prayer, I did get a phone call today from NN. She answered 99% of all my questions from nutrition to pre-treatment drugs to general questions like can I exersize and when should I expect to lose my hair. I also was advised that I would need to return to where I get the treatments the following day to receive an injection. Oh joy!!! What I didn't find out is the date I will begin chemo treatments. I know it will probably be on Tuesday and I'm praying that we can get this party started next week!!! Late this afternoon, I received the call to be at the hospital at 8:15 am to begin all the pre-surgery stuff and meet with the doctors. The actual surgery should be approximately 10 am and take about 1 - 1 1/2 hours. After that I'll be in recovery, then I'm spending the afternoon at The Perryville Inn of Rest & Recuperation and having dinner with my family.
I am thankful for the many who are praying .... because of who He is!!! Only by His strength, Sandy
On a rainy Monday morning, I drove to the Cooper location in Voorhees to pick-up my orders to have my blood test in preparation for my chemo port surgery on Thursday. Plus I had a long list of questions that I wanted to ask my Nurse Navigator (NN). Of course, not knowing whether it was a fasting or non-fasting blood test, I figured I go with fasting. However, I really don't like to wait to eat breakfast -- especially when I didn't sleep well the night before. I arrived in the office to get the orders and hopefully find the NN. I was also determined not to leave without getting my questions answered. I received the orders from the Surgical Scheduler (SS) and then asked to see the NN. I explained that I had not had any communication with her since my initial meeting which was basically, "Hi. My name is Sandy." SS advised she would email the NN with my phone number and ask her to call. I then walked over to the lab to get my blood drawn. Usually, they have a difficult time finding my veins. In fact, the only time I haven't been a human pincushion, was in the hospital and today. My great phlebotomist found my vein on the first try and I was on my way in just a few minutes. As of 3 pm, still no call from NN. So, I emailed SS and asked for NN's email address. So, no answers today to my long list of questions. Once this post is up, I'm composing a very nice but firm email to NN and requesting answers tomorrow. Thanks for your prayers today & everyday!!! Only by His strength, Sandy
Hi! My name is Sandy. Welcome to my ramblings. Some ramblings may be short. Some ramblings may just.... ramble. I'm blogging to keep family & friends informed as I journey with God while receiving treatments for Ovarian Cancer. Following is what I put on Facebook & emailed to friends on December 18 & 19:
The path God
chooses for us to walk is not always the path that is easy and smooth, but if
we follow His way, it is always the best way.
When I
entered the hospital emergency room on November 20, little did I know that my
life would change forever. As far as I knew, I had a large hernia that needed
to be repaired immediately. By 7 pm that night, I was being rolled in the
operating room and being prepped for surgery. When I awoke in trauma ICU, there
were tubes everywhere and I still had the breathing tube down my throat due to
swelling. It was then I found out that they had found a mass in my pelvic
region and they had also performed a complete hysterectomy. The doctor was
pretty sure he had removed all the questionable parts. After a week in the
hospital, I was released to go to the Perryville Inn of Rest & Recuperation
(i.e. my parent’s home).
On Tuesday
afternoon, December 17, I had my follow-up appointment with the gynecologic oncologist. He
is one of the top doctors in the field. After a brief exam, he sat down and spoke
to Janet and me. He spoke two words that will alter my life. Ovarian Cancer.
The mass that had been growing inside me was indeed cancerous. Although they
feel they “got” all the cancer associated with the hysterectomy, I will be
going through 6-8 rounds of chemotherapy beginning in January as a precaution
that none of the cancer found its way into any other parts.
Was I
shocked? Yes. Did I cry? Yes. Am I scared? Yes.
Do I believe
that God will get me through this? Absolutely!!!!!
What I need
are prayer warriors who will stand with me at the throne of the Almighty God
and pray that He will use me in this situation. I’ll need encouragers to cheer
me up when I feel crappy. I’ll need friends to give me a hug when I’m not
feeling pretty without any hair. But what I don’t need is your pity.
Many years
ago I chose a Bible verse for my life. It is Philippians 4:13. It says, “I can
do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.” I’m believing it. Trusting
it. And standing on the promises held in those words. Will you stand with me???
