Scars

Easter Sunday began with a fabulous and joyous service at church to celebrate the resurrection of my Savior, Jesus Christ. As always, the music & the message proclaimed the message that the tomb is empty and Jesus is alive!!!

Easter Sunday was the day the little people were to begin their banging on my legs. However, thanks to your prayers, I think they really did take an Easter vacation. Only a few, that didn't like to fly, stayed behind and tried to begin that relentless rhythm on my legs. But again, much prayer, much rest, and much relief from my other guy, Ben G., had the remaining little people on the run by Tuesday. I did not need to take any OTC pain meds and now we'll wait and see if rest, no pain meds, and prayer work together to get my platelet count at the correct level when I go for my blood work next Monday. However, I won't get the results until Tuesday morning.

Easter Sunday was also one of those days when food just didn't taste good. Although, I tried using plastic ware and that helped a little. Amazing what you learn along the way!!!

I really didn't start feeling "normal" again until Thursday. The weekend was busy. I had a meeting at church on Saturday afternoon, the choir sang at all 3 services, and my sister & I started on The NJ Quilt Shop Hop.

Easter Sunday also marked five (5) months to the day that I was admitted to the hospital for what I thought was a fairly routine surgical procedure.

What I awoke to was a scar down the middle of my torso held together by 28 staples. The dictionary defines a scar as a mark left by a healed wound, sore, or burn. My visible scar will always be a reminder of God's grace & mercy on my life. And as the choir sang this weekend, "I Could Never Praise Him Enough." I know it sounds crazy, but I praise God for my scar!!!

I read this in my devotions a few weeks ago. At that point, I didn't quite know when God would have me use it. The words are by Sharon Jaynes:

"Perhaps the most painful scars that I bear are the ones you cannot see. You know the ones I'm talking about. We all have them. They are the scars on our hearts and in our souls.

The scar of rejection from a father that didn't know how to love me.

The scar of growing up in a home riddled with alcohol and physical abuse.

The scar of disappointment at the loss of a child.

The scar of broken dreams.

We receive scars in one of two ways: what has been done to us by other people or what has been done through us by our own mistakes and failures. Either way, I believe that scars are not something that we need to hide or be ashamed of, but rather an invitation to share the healing power of Jesus Christ with a hurting world. For a scar, by its very definition, implies healing."

Easter Sunday also reminds me that by his stripes (scars), we are healed. Because of Jesus's shed blood and death on the cross and his resurrection three days later, we can be healed. Friends, Jesus has scars on his hands and feet from where the nails held him to the cross. Let Him carry your burdens. Let Him heal all your hurts. He's waiting for you to trust Him today. Don't wait!!!!

I'm going to leave you with this wonderful song from Mandisa.

Prayer Requests for my Prayer Warriors:

1. That Congress would vote quickly this week and pass the Extended Unemployment Benefits Act.
2. That my platelets would be on the increase and that the blood test that's taken on Monday will have good results and I won't need to have the finger prick & wait on Tuesday.


Only By His Strength,
Sandy

Reflections of My 5th "Date" with Mr. Chemo

Thursday Morning - The sun was shining. The air was cool. And I didn't need to wear a heavy winter coat and shoes to go on my "date" with Mr. Chemo. There was no snow in the forecast!!!! Although I hadn't slept well on Wednesday night due to the steroids that I take before my date, I still felt good.

The big question, what was my platelet count. I had faith that it would be good. Many people had prayed. Tracy (my nurse) came in and gave me the news. My platelet count was 87. Ugh!!! But we prayed!!! Did God forget??? Did God not care about me & my platelets??? He absolutely didn't forget & He absolutely cares about me. In fact, I give him all the glory because He performed another miracle and after they pricked my finger and retested the platelets, the new number was 144!!!!! Thank you God for another platelet miracle!!!!

I was taken back to my little area to get settled in and await my "date" nurse, Chrissy. She got me all hooked up with Mr. Chemo and away we went through the day. I took a little nap, had some lunch, caught up on my emails and Facebook, my sister came to hang out after her meeting, and we delivered my little Easter gifts.

Here is a picture from my window.

And here is a picture where I'm telling Mr. Chemo I'm only going on 1 more "date" with him.

On Friday, I went to get my Neulasta injection to keep my white blood count high. I came home to Chocolate Cinnamon rolls for breakfast made by my favorite sister. We ran a bunch of errands, I took a nap, and we had Easter dinner with my parents since by Sunday night, my taste buds will not enjoy much food. We had ham, macaroni and cheese, carrots, and jello salad and I had a chocolate cupcake for dessert!!!

Today, I'm expecting the little people to arrive at some point. However, I'm praying that they are on Easter break and went to Disney instead or they are having their own Easter parade and marching far away from my legs. I am going to try to tough this round out without taking OTC pain meds and just rely on my friend Ben Gay. I want to see if OTC meds like Advil are having an adverse effect on my platelets. I did some reading online and I'm going to test my theory. My doctor doesn't think it will make a difference, but I'm going to try!!!

If you are reading this, you are invited to my "Good-bye Mr. Chemo Party" on Tuesday, May 6th from 1-4 at the MD Anderson Center in Camden, NJ. You can stop in for a little bit and help me "break up" with Mr. Chemo. If we are Facebook friends, you'll be getting an invite.

So, prayer warriors, here are my prayer requests:

1. That the little people with hammers don't beat too hard or at all. And if they do beat, that I'll be able to bear it and refrain from taking pain meds.

2. That my platelet count would rebound quickly because of the short turn from this past Thursday until Tuesday, May 6th.


Wishing you & your family at very blessed Easter weekend!!!! He is Risen!!!!!

Only by His Strength,
Sandy

He Is Faithful

Life after the little people stop beating on my legs is really quite wonderful. And even though I know they will return, I know that I only have two more beatings to endure. My greatest concern is my platelet count. If too low, I cannot receive my chemo treatment. Although I have an extra two days before my next treatment on Thursday, April 17, I'm still praying that my platelet count will be at the correct level when I have my blood test on Wednesday and they won't need to do the finger prick on Thursday while I pray over the vial and wait.

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, but life has been busy & blessed. When I last wrote, I asked that you pray for employment. So, I must tell you this story of how God has not only provided for me, but also for my sister.

Growing up, our church lived by Philippians 4:19 ESV which states, "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." I've always known in my head that God provides and I've seen Him provide for me and for many others over the years, but never have I been so aware of that provision.

On Sunday, March 30, after service my sister and I crossed paths with a friend, Gail. It had been several months since we'd seen each other and she wanted to catch up with us and find out how she could pray for us. We told her that we really needed jobs since unemployment was ending for both of us. She promised to pray, we hugged, and then she went into the next service and we went home.

On Monday, my sister applied for about 8 jobs and I applied for about 4. By late Monday night, my sister received an email from one of the jobs stating that they wanted to set up a phone interview. We'll call this Job #1. On Tuesday morning, we went to Bible study. After our study, we also talked to our friend, Jane. She told us she was praying for us, too!! When we got home, my sister emailed the contact person at Job #1.

Tuesday afternoon, I saw a post on a Facebook page I follow for travel jobs that I thought I was qualified to do. So, I forwarded my resume & cover letter. Within a couple of hours, I was on the phone with the manager/owner talking about my skills, when I could start, etc. We're still working out the details, but it looks like I'll be booking corporate/government travel again by the end of May!!!!

Back to my sister. On Wednesday morning, my sister's cell phone rang and it was another company where she had applied wanting to talk to her. We'll call this Job #2. She called them back and after talking with them, they told my sister that they would call her back. That afternoon, she received another call from a different person at the same company who also was interested in hiring her. We'll call this Job #3. She explained that she had already talked with another person from the company and they were also interested. They said they would get back to her. 

On Thursday afternoon, the person from Job #1 called and spoke to my sister for about 10 minutes and then offered her the job and she accepted. Within a few hours, the the original person she spoke to (Job #2) was back on the phone to advise that the other job (Job #3) was going in a different direction and he offered her the job, which she also accepted. Both jobs are part-time. We're just praying that she can keep all straight, have time to sleep, plus have time to focus on our business.

Now if Congress will just pass the extended unemployment bill, I'd be a little bit more secure. Of course, they are now on Easter break and there will be no passage until after April 28th. But, my God will provide!!!

Other than that, we celebrated my Dad's birthday, went to Lancaster County to do a bit of marketing with the Mid-Atlantic Modern Quilting Retreat, was the photographer for Global Aid Network event at church where packaged 30,000 bags of rice & beans that are earmarked for Syrian refugees in Jordan, lead KBS (Sunday School) for 2nd graders, our dear family friend, Claudia arrived from Georgia for a few days visit, and the entire family got the 24 hour stomach bug on consecutive days.

I've been feeling a little down recently, but I think I'm just tired of this routine. Mr. Chemo is a real downer. But, my God is greater. My God is stronger. My God is higher than any other!!!

Prayer Requests for my faithful Prayer Warriors:

1. My platelet count would be at the correct level when I have my next date with Mr. Chemo on Thursday, April 17.

2. Congress would pass the Extended Unemployment Bill when they return from Easter break.


Only by His Strength,
Sandy

They're Baaack!!!

Once upon a Friday, the little people returned from the Sahara Desert. On the way home, they must have stopped somewhere for percussion lessons. Some of them took marimba lessons, others took up the timpani, and some took up the xylophone. And there was that crazy one who liked the tubular chimes. 

By midday, they were warming up and I was feeling miserable. By late afternoon, the little people were all warmed up and the concert was beginning. Boom, boom, boom - up and down my legs. I asked them to stop, but they just played on. 

I tried watching the Phillies game, but that was depressing. It seems like everything was depressing yesterday - the weather, the food didn't taste right, the weather, the food didn't taste right, I had no ambition, I was tired, I need a job, and my legs were hurting. Too much for one day, so I talked Ben G. into a leg massage and went to bed. 

Today has been a little bit better. The little people seem to be taking a long intermission and food is slowly beginning to taste better. Maybe the little people will not be annoying the rest of the day and I can get something done!!!

Please continue to pray that the little people would leave me alone. 

Pray also that I would find employment, soon!!!

Thanks!!!!! :)

Only by His Strength,
Sandy

1/2 to 2/3

It was a good feeling to walk into MD Anderson this morning being halfway through my dates with Mr. Chemo. 

My day started with my normal appointment with my oncologist. After taking my vitals, etc., the doctor was a running a little late, so I went back out to the main waiting area to hang out with my Mom. While waiting, the nurse came out and gave me the bad news ... my platelet count was low, again, and I need to go get another finger prick and see if it was higher today. So, I took the short elevator ride to the 3rd floor, praying all the way!!! Even as the girl was squeezing my finger to get the blood into the vial, I was praying and praying and praying. 

Back to the 2nd floor, to wait for the doctor. After a few minutes, I was called back. Check up went well and of course, I love making people laugh!!! The best news was that my CAT scan was still clear of cancer!!! Yes, I said ... NO CANCER!!!!!!!!! WooHoo!!!!!!!!! And my platelet count was high enough to have my date with Mr. Chemo!!!!!!!!!! Double WooHoo!!!!!!!! :)

I grabbed my stuff and Mom & I headed up to the 3rd floor for my date. I finally got my date started about 11:45am. Mom stayed through lunch. I then took a nap for about an hour. Since Mr. Chemo is not a talker, I jumped on my computer and caught up with emails and Facebook.

And yes, I was the last patient on the floor today. I love the nurses. Mary Jane was my nurse today and even though she was super busy, she made time for me!!!! :)

The following was the prayer at the end of my devotions this morning:

Father, I praise You for being my Peace in the midst of a stressful day. I can't always see Your hand at work or even understand or like Your process. But I do know that I can fully trust Your heart of love for me, Lord. When the stress of life tempts me to worry, help me to trust You instead. When it seems like my life is spinning out of control, give me Your strength to stop and remember that You are God and that heaven is not in a panic! Right now, I choose against the tyranny of stress in my life, and I choose to trust You instead. Thank You for Your faithfulness to me.

It reminded me of Pastor Marty's message on Sunday from Revelation 11 that "God Doesn't Do Random." Pastor Marty concluded with this thought, "Relax, He's got it!" And then talked about how Revelation 11:15 was the basis for one of the greatest classical pieces ever written, Handel's "Hallelujah Chorus." And that's how I felt today!!!!

And it was great to walk out of MD Anderson at 5pm and be at 2/3!!!!

Today & every day ....
Only by His Strength,
Sandy

All Things

The following is selected parts from my devotions this morning. It was written by Mary Southerland, one of the Girlfriends in God, but she so eloquently said what's on been on my heart throughout this adventure. It was a great reminder!!!

A daughter was telling her mother how everything was going wrong. "I am failing Algebra. My boyfriend just broke up with me, and my best friend is moving away," she wailed. Her mom listened patiently, and then asked, "I made a cake for dinner. Would you like a snack?" The girl grinned and said, "Sure, Mom. I love your cake." The mom smiled and asked, "How about some cooking oil?" The daughter looked surprised at the offer and responded with a loud "Yuk!" The mom tried again, "How about a couple of raw eggs?" With a look of confusion, the daughter said, "Gross, Mom!" With a smile, the mother offered, "Would you like some flour or maybe a cup of baking soda?" The daughter responded, "Mom, all of those things are gross!" The mother cut a piece of cake and placed it on a plate with a fork. As she handed the delicious snack to her daughter, she explained, "Honey, all of those things seem bad when you think about eating them alone, but when they are put together in the right way, they make a delicious cake."

God often works the same way. We sometimes wonder why He allows us to go through such difficult times, but when God puts those hard times together as only He can, they work out for our good. We just have to trust Him to do so.

There are no accidents with God, nor is He surprised by anything or anyone in the life of His child. God uses even the most horrendous circumstances for our good. Every circumstance comes to us for a purpose, bound by God's love and plan, and faithfully delivered with His permission. 

Do I like going on dates with Mr. Chemo??? Absolutely not!!! But as Mary said in that last paragraph, "there are NO accidents with God." (emphasis mine) 

Was I surprised when I woke up in Trauma ICU unable to speak because the breathing tube was still down my throat and informed that not only had my hernia been repaired, but they found a mass in my pelvic region and did a complete hysterectomy??? Absolutely!!!! But God wasn't surprised. He knew from the beginning of time. 

I now must TRUST Him that it will all work out. From test results to dealing with Mr Chemo & the "little people," I have faith that He is leading me on this adventure for a purpose. Will I know what that purpose is??? Maybe I will and maybe I will never find out. All I can do is follow Him. Are you following Him???

For my Prayer Warriors: 
 -I go for my blood test on Monday, March 24. Please pray all the levels will be in the acceptable ranges so I can get my treatment.
- I'm scheduled for my 4th date with Mr. Chemo on Tuesday, March 25th. Please pray the possible storm away. We prayed it away before, please Lord .... send this one away!!!!!
- I'm looking for part-time employment. Please pray that God will lead me to the jobs He wants me to have.

As always, thanks for your continued prayers and encouragement. Love & hugs to all of you!!!!!

Only by His Strength,
Sandy

CAT scan Woman

CAT scan ... nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, CAT scan ..... (think Batman TV show theme song)!!!! I know, I'm dating myself. 

I arrived at Cooper in Voorhees for my CT scan at noon. They promptly gave me the "yummy" iced tea tasting contrast to drink. I had approximately 15 minutes to drink 2 styrofoam cups of the stuff. Thankfully, I brought a straw. For me, it makes the stuff go down a bit faster & easier. Then, I had to wait for my scheduled appointment time at 1:30 pm. 

Shortly after 1:30pm, the technician/nurse came and got me. I changed into a beautiful hospital gown and then was escorted to the CT scan room. Now came the moment of truth, trying to find a vein for the IV. After tapping both elbows and both hands, she finally settled on my right wrist. She wasn't sure it would hold, but I was praying!!! And I knew many others were, too!!!!

After, the technician and the machine took the required pictures of my insides, the IV was removed and I was able to use the facilities. Then I got dressed and drove home. Once home, I feasted on toast, a banana, and yogurt, then took a nap. Exciting, I know!!! 

I won't know the results until my next doctor/oncologist appointment on March 25th. I'm just praying that everything is still clear & cancer free!!!

Thanks again to all my prayer warriors. I'm blown away by your faithfulness and love for me!!!! 

That's all for now. I'm heading to the creative studio to do some quilting!!!

Only by His Strength,
Sandy